Gay and Converting

12/06/2011

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by LJ, a female Reform convert

I can’t say with any honesty that Judaism sprang from a single thought in my head.  Rather, it took time to see that it just may be the answer to many issues in my life.

I had just recovered from cancer, Stage 2 colon cancer.  As anyone who has had cancer can tell you, you never get rid of it.  Even if every speck has been removed from your body, you think about it.  It’s with you always.  You wonder how many years you might have left, years of productive life.

A year after my colon surgery, I retired from a career that had consumed 33 years of my life.  I poured my heart and soul into that job, into working with those people, and now, due to my own choice, it had all been ripped from me.  I had nowhere to go in the mornings.  I had no social life. Sure, I had friends, but there were few that weren’t part of my work environment, and many of those friends were located in another city, where I had previously worked.

I had thought about retirement for many years, but not very seriously.  I had thought about doing good things.  I wanted to do good things.  Volunteer?  I actually tried several volunteer tasks along the way, and none matched my personality. 

The final point of this journey was that I fell in love with a Jew.  A lot of her friends were Jewish, and they became my friends.  I was surrounded by Jews, and I really liked the way they lived their lives.  They did good things.   As a lesbian, I feel I was fortunate to have been accepted by these Jews, that my “gayness” wasn’t a second thought for them; that told me right there that I could fit into Jewish life as a gay person.

As it turned out, this wasn’t the final point of my journey at all.  I found a rabbi to study with, to learn what Judaism was really all about, and I joined a new community.  They’re my community now.  The journey was just beginning.

Hear Linda talk about her conversion process in this video.

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Gay and Converting

11/14/2011

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By L., a female Reform convert

When I came out to my mother as gay, I was in my 40’s.  I had finally come to the long-fought decision to come out to my family if I ever landed in another relationship.  When I did, I sat down with her, and she took it better than I thought she would.  Her reply was, “I think I knew all along.  I was just hoping it was a fad.”

At the age of 63, it’s no fad.  And 8 years after my mother died, I came out again, this time as a Jew.  While I would give almost anything to have one last conversation with my mother, to see her again, I’m glad I don’t have to try to explain her to her that I’m a Jew.  Because, you see, I’m going to Hell.  And it would be Her Fault.

So, spared that last conversation, I very easily converted – well, after it took me three tries to find the right rabbi, but the right rabbi I did find.    The rabbis at my Reform synagogue in the East Bay have been super, everything you could have asked for as a lesbian or gay man, or as any Jew, actually.  Kind, warm, accepting.  Completely accepting.  Their constituents are sometimes another story.  But it’s a work in progress.

Some people typecast me as Ellen DeGeneres, others as someone who would love to tell lesbian stories (you know, with sex ‘n stuff), and others ignore me completely.  This is my community.  They’ll get used to seeing me, get used to what lesbians look like and sound like, ones like me and ones who are completely different (because it’s really hard to stereotype us).  And as more gay men and women join, we’ll just be  normal Jews around temple.  I look forward to that day.

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