(This image is from a Looney Tunes cartoon that was included on a Looney Tunes collection DVD.
Found on Wikipedia,
I wrote this to a friend in 2007. I hope the world is more accepting of the idea of conversion. But you tell me.
I'm going to the workshop on conversion at the URJ biennial -- I am going with the sole intent of drop kicking them around the room. The title of the workshop is something like: Conversion? Why would I even ask, you'd have to be crazy to convert.
Last night at a Hanukah party I got asked, "So, you're a professional Jew?" You know the kind - with a big smile, see the smile means I'm not being insulting, despite my tone of voice.
Yes, I said, BIG SMILE BACK, I am.
Him: So what do you do? Education?
Me: Yes, and conversion.
Lout: Oh, no one should convert. It's too.... hard. Too expensive.
Me: Expensive? It doesn't cost a thing.
Moron: What?! What do they have to do?
Me: Study with a rabbi.
Lame brain: What does that cost?
Bugs Bunny: Nothing!? Really? And then what.
Me: A beit din. Mikvah.
Bozo: But the orthodox. They are so mean...
Me: You know the wrong ones.
Elmer Fudd: silence --- what do you do, go out and catch them?
Me: I think anyone who wants to be Jewish should be. I realize you don't understand what they are feeling. But they still feel it. It's their Jewish Nashama coming out.
Road Runner: What?
Me: Their Jewish soul.
Tweety Bird: Oh.
Tweety's wife: I hope my husband didn't offend you.
Me: I hope he can bear that I'm an evangelical Jew.