Category: Mikvah

Ocean Mikvahs in the SF Bay Area

12/16/2021

(This article originally appeared in the December 15, 2021 Mixed and Matched column in the J-weekly.)

Dear Dawn: The final component of my conversion will be the mikvah. I want to complete this step, but our local mikvah has been closed through the pandemic. Is the mikvah mandated for conversion in Reform Judaism? (I want to do it, whether it’s required or not.) Can I do it in an ocean, with a representative on shore? I am looking forward to the ceremonial solemnity. — Patiently awaiting my mikvah

Dear Patiently: Many people have faced the same problem during the pandemic, and rabbis have opted for an outdoor mikvah! No, mikvah is not mandated for a Reform conversion, but who would want to miss out?
You stimulated my interest in learning some of our local rabbis’ approach to an outdoor mikvah. I was surprised by how many of them do utilize this option.
It is critical that you meet with your rabbi and discuss the details of how the outdoor mikvah will be handled.
Issues include: modesty (public nudity is out); safety (rough waves are dangerous); participants (you will need helpers); clothing (avoid wardrobe malfunctions in the water); ceremony (what exactly will happen and in what order?)
Generally speaking, the rabbis I communicated with look for a secluded location on a beach, away from the eyes of the public. Candidates may wear either a bathing suit or a loose-fitting garment like a robe. Rabbis may ask whether you can swim; they will refuse to put you in danger.
A loved one accompanies the convert to a spot in the surf where it is deep enough to lift your feet off the bottom and dip under the water. Your companion will help you disrobe if you are wearing a swimsuit or want to be naked. They hold your garment while the rabbi calls out to you from the shore, telling you what to say and when to dunk.
After the three dips are completed, your companion will help you dress before you exit the water. Some rabbis have a Thermos with a warm drink waiting. Several rabbis described having family members hold up towels to shield the new Jew as they take off their wet clothes and put on dry ones. Several rabbis mentioned going early in the morning or at sunset to avoid running into others.
Here are some comments I received:
Lisa Erdberg, conversion guide, Congregation Sherith Israel, San Francisco
The people strip down to bathing suits on the beach, go into the water and remove their bathing suits under water. After their immersions, they put their bathing suits back on under water and emerge. We wrapped them in towels to dry off, and then they put their clothes back on. There is a restroom very close by that they can use. They recited the Shema in the water.
My sense is that people have found the water to be very cold, but they are so excited that it doesn’t actually feel cold.
Because it’s the Pacific Ocean, it is cold with choppy water. It’s hard to hear because of the wind. They can only let go of their bathing suits for a second. Immersion in a calm ocean or lake would be a much more tranquil affair and offer more opportunity for intentionality.
Rabbi Jaymee Alpert, Congregation Beth David, Saratoga
Candidates dress in loose-fitting clothes and bring a change and plenty of towels for afterward. They go in alone, just far enough that they can pick their feet up and immerse fully. It is quite noisy with the waves, and I have to listen carefully for the blessings.
Once out of the water, they wrap up in a towel immediately. I think they are very brave. I haven’t managed to put more than a foot into the water. I had to reschedule a conversion because of riptides, so that is also something to be aware of.
Rabbi Gershon Albert, Beth Jacob Congregation, Oakland
Some Orthodox beit dins (rabbinical courts) will allow a conversion candidate to wear a loose-fitting robe or wrap themselves in a sheet when they immerse, protecting their modesty throughout the process.
Rabbi David Booth, Congregation Kol Emeth, Palo Alto
I have them wear a robe or wrap themselves in a sheet when going into the water, and then just put it back on as they emerge. It is true that there are days when the surf is up and it’s more exciting than planned.
Rabbi Jonathan Prosnit, Congregation Beth Am, Los Altos Hills
In a phone conversation, Rabbi Prosnit told me there is a protected cove area at Half Moon Bay that he uses. The candidate goes with a friend or partner, both in bathing suits, into the water. When they have waded in deep enough to disrobe under the water (about 20 yards out), the candidate takes off their bathing suit and dips. He guides them in the traditional blessings from the shore. The individual redresses in the water and comes out to a celebration with loved ones on the shore.
Rabbi Prosnit pointed out that the mikvah preparation of showering, flossing and cleaning under the nails can be very beautiful, but generally is not possible in a beach setting.
Water locations used by Bay Area rabbis include Santa Cruz beaches, the Albany Bulb (which is the end of a landfill peninsula), Half Moon Bay or nearby Mavericks Beach, Lake Anza in Berkeley, San Gregorio Beach (south of Half Moon Bay), and three San Francisco spots: the St. Francis Yacht Club, Aquatic Park near Fisherman’s Wharf and Crissy Field.
This is clearly an individualized process that you must discuss with your rabbi, but the good news is that it can be done.

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An Ocean Mikvah

11/3/2021

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An ocean mikvah experience in Hawaii

Can you use the ocean for your mikvah? You can! A friend of mine who LOVES the water asked about using the ocean. I contacted the conversion mentor, Lisa, at Sherith Israel because she told me that they have done ocean mikvahs. She asked one of her conversion students to write about his experience. Here's what he had to say.

When the day of my mikvah had come, it was typical San Francisco foggy weather but something was obviously different about it. I felt a bit intimidated by what's going to happen to me, yet I was calm and at peace. It felt that something very important is going to occur, spiritually significant. When I was taking off my clothes with the skies being orange because of the smoke from forest fires, I caught myself correlating this with the verses, when the world was just emerging in the Torah and that the culmination of the most important moment in my life is about to happen. I was ready to step into the cold waters of the Bay but, surprisingly, the water was beyond comfortable, as if HaShem covered me with his warm tallit to save me from cold temperatures. Rabbi Jessica and Lisa were mentally holding my hands as I went further and further into the water. All my intimidation disappeared once I looked back at them. Water became very pleasant. When Rabbi Jessica pronounced the prayers and I submerged three times - my entire life flashed in front of my eyes, even the moments that I almost forgot about! Once I came back from the water, the world became different, clearer, I even became more aware of the people and notions around me. This is something I don't think I can explain with simple words: it must be felt and the feeling is amazing. This was especially important for me because this way I spiritually bring my Jewish ancestors together and keep that connection: my long-"erased" Jewish ancestry is now restored! That's why my entire conversion at Sherith Israel was so important to me.
--Aharon

I turned back to the conversion mentor, Lisa, for more details about an ocean immersion. I asked about HOW it is done and about the temperature of the water. She said:

We did the two Bay mivkahs I attended at the beach by the St. Francis Yacht Club; I believe the other one was at Aquatic park, but more or less same environment. The people stripped down to bathing suits on the beach, went into the water and removed their bathing suits under water. After performing their immersions they put their bathing suits back on under water and came out. We wrapped them in towels to dry off and then the put their clothes back on; there is a restroom very close by that they could use if they wanted to remove their wet bathing suits before putting their clothes on. They recited the Shema in the water. They did not hold a Torah - we don’t do that at the indoor mikvah either; the recitation of the Shema is the last thing after the immersions. We all shivered and sang siman tov and mazel tov.

My sense is that people have found the water to be very cold but they are so excited that it doesn’t actually feel cold; both the people I witnessed said it felt good.

Quite honestly, because it’s the Pacific Ocean, hence cold, windy, and usually choppy water, it’s kind of a hodgepodge. It’s hard to hear because of the wind; they can only let go of their bathing suits for a brief second, etc. Immersion in a calm ocean or lake would be a much more tranquil affair and offer more opportunity for intentionality. And yet, you see from Aharon’s narrative how meaningful it was to him to do it this way.

I can't resist sharing with you Aharon's additional comments about making aliyah and living in Jerusalem.

The High Holy Days were magnificent here! I got to know a couple of families in the suburbs of Jerusalem who are affiliated with the Ramban synagogue and we had an amazing celebration. It truly feels more connected to HaShem over here, even though they're from the Orthodox denomination. I know different parts of Israel are quite different in a religious sense like Jerusalem can go too extreme in terms of observance but nobody really cares about Judaism in Eilat. I love Jerusalem! I truly found my spiritual destination here and will stay here. Probably, I'll have to undergo Orthodox conversion (more symbolic, than actual) here as Rabbi Avigdor Nebenzahl will require it to become a full-fledged member. I'm shocked about the number of young Americans in there who study the Torah with such dedication. The English version of the Torah comes in handy as I'm still learning Biblical Hebrew. Russian too, to be honest, but, I believe, submerging myself into the language environment - that's the only good way of actually learning the language. Yes, it's very challenging, but having such a big team with me is very important, a day here flies by very fast when I'm at the Torah discussion. I'm absolutely grateful to HaShem that I ended up here, in the Holy Land.

You can read more here on My Jewish Learning, but I found this article to be rather discouraging.

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Converting During Covid - another perspective

6/29/2020

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Dear Dawn,

I read with interest your article in J., “I can’t finish my conversion because of Covid-19,” and wanted to offer another perspective.

I am a member of the mentor cohort at Congregation Sherith Israel. As a mentor, my responsibilities include working one-to-one with a conversion student, teaching, guiding, modeling, and supporting in whatever ways I can. CSI’s mentoring program includes a 3-month Introduction to Judaism class, student meetings with clergy, encouragement for students to be actively attending services and/or Torah Study on a regular basis, involvement in synagogue activities, an Introduction to Hebrew course, written essays summarizing the conversion experience, and of course ongoing meetings and communication with the student’s mentor.

Certainly Covid-19 has challenged everything we know about business as usual. My student had finished all required coursework, and had been actively involved in synagogue life for over a year. Perhaps motivated by the fact that our cantor would be leaving the area this month, my student and I worked with two members of our clergy to complete the conversion process. Do we have exceptional clergy? I happen to think so. Working with Rabbi Jessica Zimmerman Graf and Cantor David Frommer, my student completed her essays, leaving only the Beit Din, Mikvah, and blessings in front of the congregation. Cantor Frommer led the Beit Din via Zoom, with my student, Rabbi Graf, and I present and participating. Two days later, my student, accompanied by Rabbi Graf and I, met in the San Francisco Marina. It was a typical San Francisco morning, foggy and drizzling. At the beach, my student removed her sweat pants and tee-shirt, and wearing only a swimsuit, bravely made her way into the San Francisco Bay. The rabbi had instructed my student in the proper blessings, and procedures for submersion. Once deep enough into the water, my almost Jewish student removed her bathing suit, and held it above her head as she immersed herself three times. Both the Beit Din and Mikvah were completely kosher. Finally, my student, now a Jew By Choice was blessed in front of the congregation at our weekly Shabbat service via Zoom. As an active synagogue member and conversion mentor, I am certain my experience in the entire process with my student, particularly the Beit Din and Mikvah will remain a highlight of my synagogue life.

All best,
Susan B.

I so appreciate the creativity of Susan and her student. I posed this idea to the writer of the original letter. Although she is a swimmer she opted for an indoor mikvah. But a natural body of water is always an option!

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A Mikveh Story from Los Angeles

12/30/2016

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(Rabbinical Assembly Mikveh at American Jewish University. Photo courtesy of Rabbinical Assembly)

A young person in Los Angeles emailed me to say that they will be going to the mikveh at the American Jewish University next month. I think it is important to SEE what mikvot look like to give folks an idea of what to expect. This one in Los Angles is quite modern and simple. In general, so are many mikvot. There is often a spa-like appearance. (Take a look at the local Bay Area mikvot also by choosing Category "Mikvah".

This article, Becoming Jewish: Tales from the Mikveh, shares some of the wonderful stories that the mikvah ladies, Judith Golden and Suzanne Rosenthal, have experienced.

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Bay Area Mikvahs

5/22/2014

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There are three mikvahs (mikvot) available to potential Jewish converts in the Bay Area. Here are photos of the three of them.

First, below are two photos of the East Bay Mikvah at Beth Jacob in Oakland.

Pictured below is the San Francisco mikvah on Sacramento Street.

Finally, two photos of the Community Mikvah of Silicon Valley at the JCC in Los Gatos.

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Hatafat Dam Brit / Brit Milah

3/28/2014

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in the Orthodox and Conservative branches of Judaism, an uncircumcised man who wishes to convert must undergo a circumcision and hatafat dam brit (ritual drawing of a drop of blood). Here is one man's story of the experience.

Hatafat Dam Brit (ritual drawing of a drop of blood)
As the date of their beit din (rabbinic court) nears, many intended gerim (converts) grow especially nervous about one “last detail” of the conversion process, the hatafat dam brit (literally, the drop of blood covenant), or symbolic circumcision. The hatafat dam brit is a requisite part of conversion to Judaism because brit milah (the covenant of circumcision), is a sacred rite as much as it is a surgical procedure. If an intended male convert to Judaism was circumcised prior to his conversion, that non-religious procedure doesn’t substitute for brit milah. The would-be ger (convert) must undergo hatafat dam brit to meet the ritual requirements of entrance into the Jewish covenant. During the rite, a mohel or rabbi draws a drop of blood from just under the glans of the penis, where the foreskin is attached on an uncircumcised member.

Like most of my fellow male gerim, I was a bit anxious about this aspect of my conversion. I knew that my beit din, hatafat dam brit, and mikveh visit were slated to take place in quick succession, all in the course of about two hours, provided that my time with the beit din satisfied the participating rabbis. It did. The three rabbis, two of whom I knew and one of whom I did not, had read my conversion statement the night before and, to my delight and relief, thought highly of it. The four of us talked at length; it felt less like an interview (or court) than a conversation between people excited about Judaism and Jewish identity. Eventually, we realized we’d talked beyond the allotted time, so I hurried off to the changing room to disrobe and prepare for the hatafat dam brit and the mikveh.

Once I’d changed into a bath robe and bath slippers, I let the rabbis know that I was ready for them to enter. The rabbis, all men, entered the bathroom and instructed me to sit on a bench, open the bathrobe at the waist, and try to relax. The first two instructions were easily complied with; the third, a little more challenging! One of the rabbis then pinched together some of the skin of my penis and used a small, spring-loaded lancet (similar to that which diabetic individuals use to check their blood sugar levels) to prick the bunched skin. He then used a small piece of cotton gauze to dab the skin so that a tiny drop of blood stained the cotton. Finally, he showed the gauze and blood mark to the two other rabbis. Agreeing that they’d all seen the blood, they recited the bracha (blessing) for the rite. And that was that. It was time for me to follow them into the room containing the mikveh.

Adult Circumcision
When men ask me about this experience, they always want to know if the hatafat dam brit hurt. Honestly, I don’t remember any pain at all. That doesn’t mean, however, that hatafat dam brit isn’t an uncomfortable part of the conversion process. No matter the context, having your penis inspected, pinched, and poked can be awkward and unsettling. Additionally, everything is relative in our experience. I consider the pain of the rite alongside that associated with my adult circumcision, which I’d had several months prior to the hatafat dam brit. Although I was under general anesthetic during the medical procedure itself, the recovery from the circumcision lasted about two months and it was unpleasant and, at times, quite painful. Perhaps, then, even a painful hatafat dam brit experience would have been seen by me as relatively easy?

If intended gerim have particular questions for me about brit milah or hatafat dam brit, I am happy to answer them.

If you would like to be put in touch with this writer, contact Dawn at dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org

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Thoughts on Conversion Day

11/14/2011

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Today marks the final step in affirming my Jewish identity. I often struggle to find words to express the logical reasons behind my decision that I know others are seeking, because in the most simplest of terms- it was beshert. I have always been a spiritual person and had difficulties defining what the meant for me and where I belonged. I found that spiritual home in Judaism and today allows me to fully embrace all that it means to be a Jew- both spiritually and culturally. My dream for my Jewish tomorrow is to continue to grow in my knowledge, my involvement in the community and to build deeper connections with those around me. I dream of marrying and raising a Jewish family- providing all of the experiences that I didn’t get a chance to have growing up. I dream of one day journeying to Israel to feel the connection that one can only have there. I also dream of the day that I will be as comfortable speaking and reading Hebrew as I do English. In essence, I dream of a day when I will honor my non-Jewish past, but can’t imagine having never been Jewish. I have come a very long way thus far and I know that today is really only the beginning of a lifelong journey and I welcome it with an open heart and open arms.
Conservative woman convert

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Going to the Mikvah: My Experience, by DL

10/28/2010

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Before I went to the mikvah my rabbi emailed instructions to me. Here’s what I was told by my rabbi:

The mikvah is at Congregation Beth Jacob on Park Blvd (in Oakland). You ring the front door, and I will meet you in the lobby. The first step is meeting with the three rabbis for the beit din. You need to bring a $50 check made out to Congregation Beth Jacob to pay for use of the mikvah.

At the Beit Din, the three rabbis ask you questions. These are not fact-based questions but questions about what you like about Judaism, what you are doing currently in terms of Jewish observance, what Jewish holiday is meaningful to you, what Jewish books you are reading, connection to Israel. These are some examples, but they can ask you whatever they want. Often they ask you about things you wrote in your personal statement. This takes 10-15 minutes.

After your interview, and acceptance (I am 99.9% sure you will be accepted)*, you go into the mikvah. Wear no jewelry or makeup. You undress in the mikvah room, and the rabbis are in the next room. When you're ready to go in the water, you go in and call out "ready." For men a male rabbi will go in, and for women a female rabbi will go into the mikvah to supervise the immersion. The other rabbis from the beit din will wait outside within hearing range.

Here is the actual procedure inside the mikvah:

You go under the water three times. Go all the way, so the water covers your entire body, and recite the following blessing. If you don't have it memorized you can repeat after us.

Go under the first time and this is the blessing.

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam asher kideshanu bemitzvotav vetzivanu al hatevila.

You then dunk a second time and recite the following blessing.

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam shehecheyanu vekiamanu vehigianu lazman hazeh.

You then dunk a third time and recite the Shema.

Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad.

The final part of your conversion comes at synagogue, where we do a ceremony where you hold the Torah and we "name" you publicly.

*Of course, no one can guarantee you will be accepted but your rabbi will not take you before a beit din if he or she is not confident that you are ready.

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Going to the Mikvah: My Experience, by SP

10/18/2010

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(Image: White towels)

I went to the mikvah from work, so I was wearing the same dress I wore to work that day. My rabbi and a friend from temple met me at the mikvah. I was converting with a Reform rabbi, so our temple didn't have a mikvah. In the city where I was living, the Conservative synagogue had a mikvah that they let us use. Here's my first tip: if your congregation doesn't have a mikvah and you have not seen the one you're going to use, go visit it before you go for the big day! I think I wouldn't have been so nervous had I actually seen a mikvah before then.

Once we arrived at the mikvah, I changed into my bath robe. Then the woman who ran the mikvah went inside with me, while the rabbi and my friend stayed outside the door (it was a slanted door, so they could hear what was going on in the mikvah). I immersed the three times and said the blessings each time. My second tip: each time you come out of the water, take a breath before you start reciting the blessing! I didn't the first time I came up, and I started choking on water midway through the blessing. My rabbi thought I was drowning.

After I came out of the mikvah and dressed, the rabbi went through a few prayers, asked me a few questions, and I took my Hebrew name. The rabbi, my friend, and I talked for a few minutes, and that was it! My third tip: make a plan for what you're going to do right after going to the mikvah. I didn't have a plan, and I wish that I would have had some plan. I left there feeling like this huge change had just taken place, but I didn't know what to do or where to go. Eventually, I just went home, but I wish that I would have done something else and shared the moment with someone. Do something special: have a fancy meal with loved ones, have a picnic in the park -- it doesn't matter what it is as long as it's something special to you. After you go to the mikvah, if you're anything like me, you're not going to want to be alone and you're not going to feel like jumping back into everyday life. This is an occasion to celebrate!

The next day was Shabbat, and the rabbi announced that I had gone to the mikvah and was officially Jewish. He also had me take an aliyah. Saturday night, a few of my friends had a small party for me and we made havdallah. My fourth and final tip: make sure to talk to your rabbi about what exactly is going to happen when you convert! As is probably pretty typical, I had been studying with my rabbi for so long by the time I converted that I didn't think to ask some basic questions about what would happen. Plus, he, more or less, assumed that I knew everything if I didn't ask him specifically. Ask questions, and tell him or her what you want. For example, I didn't have a beit din because my rabbi didn't convene them as a matter of course for conversions; however, in some ways, I kind of wish that I would have had one. If I would have told him that I wanted one, I'm sure he would have found a way to convene one.

SP, a female Reform convert who completed her conversion in Richmond, VA.

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Going to the Mikvah: My Experience, by KM

10/12/2010

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I went to the mikvah on Sacramento Street in San Francisco, which is wonderful.

It was important to me to look like I took some time and had some consciousness about my appearance and the seriousness of the moment. I was going before my Beit Din just prior to immersion, and I was meeting friends later to celebrate for lunch—it was a really big day in my life, after all!

On the other hand, I realized that I would have to get in and out of these clothes, and would be a bit rushed and probably damp getting back into them after immersion. Ultimately, I realized I was NOT dressing to meet my maker, since the whole wonderful point of the mikvah is to meet my maker as I had been dressed for birth. That waylaid any concerns about needing to dress in a suit and tie with shiny black tie-up shoes. I suppose I ultimately dressed in what I would call “business casual” for lack of a better description. For me, that meant nice cotton khaki slacks, an oxford shirt (they dry quickly), a nice sports coat and loafers.

My actual experience in the mikvah was fantastic, and my Rabbi and the others on the Beit Din made it meaningful. I was allowed to invite very close family (three people) to the mikvah, and though they waited outside the tub area itself, they sang some niggunim and songs from the outer rooms with doors open so that I could hear them. It was a very powerful and beautiful experience to float in the water with the voices of my family and the Rabbis in the background. After the formal part of the process, I was told to spend some time in silence by myself reflecting on the moment. It was also very important to me to have had that moment of silence.

Also, I was treated to a very enthusiastic version of “Siman Tov and Mazel Tov” when I came out of the dressing room!

The Rabbi that convened my Beit Din was a woman, so she made sure that I had a man on the Beit Din to help me in the mikvah room itself. He had been the officiant for my Hatafat Dam Brit a few weeks earlier, but I knew him only slightly. At the mikvah, after the Beit Din approved me for conversion, he very thoroughly explained exactly what he was going to do, how he wanted me to cover my head for the prayers between dunks, and then gave me all the prompting I needed when I needed it. I was very glad that he did that, and it would have been great if he had done it a few days before. I was a bit nervous in the moment, and having at least heard what the actual ceremony would be like ahead of time would have helped as I could have prepared. I was a bit at a loss when every word of Hebrew suddenly seemed to have left my head.

The tachlichs thing that would have made a difference to me was if there had been a bit more coordination between my Rabbi and the mikvah manager, specifically around money. I would have been happy to come with a check in an envelope. As it was, it was odd to end my visit to the mikvah fumbling in the car to find my checkbook (which I fortunately had with me), then running back to write a check. It was a bit of a “clunk” in a wonderful day.

KM, male Renewal convert

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Ocean Mikvahs in the SF Bay Area

An Ocean Mikvah

Converting During Covid - another perspective

A Mikveh Story from Los Angeles

Bay Area Mikvahs

Hatafat Dam Brit / Brit Milah

Thoughts on Conversion Day

Going to the Mikvah: My Experience, by DL

Going to the Mikvah: My Experience, by SP

Going to the Mikvah: My Experience, by KM

Thoughts from our Email List

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