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My Beit Din

1/22/2014

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The Beit Din for my conversion consisted of two of my congregational rabbis and the third was the director of education. 

I prepared for the questions like an interview. Here is a list of questions I thought they’d ask, complete with the image of a 1,000-watt light bulb trained on my perspiring face:

1. What’s your favorite story in the Torah? Or, in a slightly different take, with which character did you identify? My favorite story? That’s a little tough, as Torah study has only introduced me to a few, and they’re in Judges. And most of what I found were pictures of human weakness, not people I admire, although there are qualities I admire in these very human characters. I chose Miriam for this anticipated question.

Did they ask this? No.

2. What would your house look like on Shabbat? Or, conversely, and I have to say I love this one, what would your house be like to a blind man or woman if they’re entering your house on Shabbat? I really thought about this one a lot, and, kind of after the thought, tried to make my home resemble this mental dream.

Did they ask this? No.

3. What do you like about Judaism, and what do think you dislike about it?
The answer to the first part of this one is in my essay as to why I chose to make this journey, so I didn’t really have to prepare for this one. 

Did they ask this? In a way. The second part of the question was reformed to: What issue concerning Judaism do you struggle with? Is there anything you’ll miss?

My answer to the first concerned Jews fighting Jews. I will never understand that. And the second was: Christmas music. One of the rabbis, hysterically, agreed with me, not that he missed it but that there was an incessant song in his brain this morning that wouldn’t go away.

That’s pretty much what I prepared for. I had several questions about my story, how I came to Judaism. One particularly pointed question about passion, where my passion lay. There were other questions, but the rest is a blur. 

Speaking of the Jewish pool, let me make one point about the mikveh: it was not at all how I pictured. The rabbi is nowhere near you, as the stairs leading down go away from her. But it was warm and pardon me for saying this, very womb-like.

Was I nervous about the court? A little. I tried to focus on the three of them, engaging them in an enjoyable conversation and not make my answers too long. I think I failed on the passion one. Too much passion.

I think when I go to synagogue in the future I look forward to a discussion very much like my beit din. An engagement of minds and exploration of ideas. Only this time, I’ll be a member of the club and not nervous at all.

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Why Blood Sacrifice?

1/20/2014

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We received this question from a reader and felt that it should be answered by a rabbi.  Rabbi Adar kindly supplied an answer.

Question:

I have a question: why blood (sacrifices) at all? – since G-d forgives whenever people repent (teshuvah). There are numerous examples in the Tanach which proves that G-d forgave people without them having to bring a sacrifice.

It seems that teshuvah is the condition, necessary and sufficient meanwhile.

Answer:

You are a careful reader of Tanakh - very good!

In fact, God does indeed forgive people without blood sacrifices. The sacrifices described in Leviticus were given to us because of our need to make sacrifices; God never needed them. With the destruction of the Temple in the year 70, we moved to a better kind of sacrifice, sacrifices of prayer. Today we pray on the same schedule that once was the schedule for the sacrifices. That is why we say the Amidah prayer several times a day; it is our "sacrifice."

This is also the reason that we in the Reform Movement of Judaism do not look for a rebuilding of the Temple. We believe its work is complete; there is no need for blood sacrifices today.

And yes, teshuvah is what we need in order to be forgiven. The prayers within the Amidah move us towards teshuvah. In fact, one of them (in the weekday prayer) is very specific about teshuvah, but the other prayers in the great Prayer work to make our hearts more inclined to make teshuvah, to turn to goodness.

Thank you for an excellent question. L'shalom, Rabbi Ruth Adar


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Messengers of Love: Rabbis & Jews-by-Choice in Interfaith Relationships, by Rabbi Menachem Creditor

1/14/2014

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I never thought, while in rabbinical school, that so many people would be interested in converting to Judaism. Nor could I have anticipated my own joy at being present with someone charting a new Jewish path. It is, quite simply, the most meaningful thing I do. I am most aware of the transformative power of Jewish values, learning, and living most deeply when someone exploring them reflects them back to me.

And so, these many years of Jewish meaning-making with "New Jews" leads me to respond to a related question I was recently asked with acquired experience and profound joy.


Question: What should a rabbi's response be when a married person wishes to convert to Judaism while their supportive non-Jewish partner/spouse is not interested in converting to Judaism?

Answer: A person's religious journey is deeply personal, and when blessed by a supportive partner/family, then their own "becoming" is healthy and beautiful. The challenges of intermarriage are just that: challenges. But to whom do they belong? Not to the rabbi or to the "community." They belong to the family, including but not limited to the Jewish member. When Midrash Tanchuma (Lech Lecha 6:32) says that God's Love for a New-Jew surpasses God's love for a Born-Jew, it is because the choice of a Jewish covenantal relationship with God demonstrates a profound statement of Jewish commitment. How much moreso when that person's individual commitment will require inner-family negotiating. It is no simple thing to be in a blended family of any kind. The Jewish community is obligated to welcome and support every Jew, born and emerging. This is a moment when rabbis can truly be messengers of holy love.



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How to increase your connection after you complete your conversion

1/13/2014

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A single man asked me this recently:  
Do you have any ideas from your work with people converting what kinds of classes and activities I can do to deepen my knowledge and understanding and spiritual connection to Judaism? Weirdly, I feel that since my mikvah and beit din, I’m left free floating. I really want to keep going in my learning and living a Jewish life, but not sure what direction to take. I am taking the Talmud Circle, which is fantastic (THANK YOU for that, by the way), but once a month is not quite enough. 


Our readers gave us these answers to the question, How did YOU connect spiritually & educationally after your conversion?


Choir.  It helped me learn the prayers and made High Holidays far more significant to me as I was part of the services.  It also gave me an opportunity to meet more members of the congregation. 

A spiritual trip to Israel with a temple will make him feel as if he is immersed in a Mikvah every day. 

I need to improve my practice, and so I attend a meditation group held at a private home. 

I also know about an interesting Torah study class for women.  

I am planning to take two classes at Lehrhaus Judaica.

I asked my rabbi to suggest a committee to join. Study was good, too, but service was the best. I was on the Caring Committee for several years, met many people that way, and learned many practical lessons about Jewish living.

Early on we made it a point to always go to Friday night services and sit in the same spot every week.  That helped us be recognized by others a little more easily.



Dawn's suggestions:

Have you checked out the classes your synagogue offers. Do they have something that interests you? What about Torah study?

You may want to deepen your home practice.  A nice way to do that is to develop a chavura and have Shabbat and holidays together.  A friend of mine has decided she is going to have a Shabbat afternoon every other week at her home - invite people over, nosh, chat, discuss the Torah portion and end with Havadalah.

Attend services regularly.

I strongly urge you to find a place where you can study with a really good teacher and thoughtful fellow students.  Check out Lehrhaus, other synagogues near you, the JCCs.

Additionally you could look for friends who, like you, are interested in deepening their practice and spirituality.  You may just need some more time to get to know people and expand your circle of like-minded Jews. 





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