Category: After Conversion - BECOMING JEWISH

March 31st, 2023

3/31/2023

Let's address what is going on in that very land to which Moses took us: Israel.
Throughout the USA, Jews have been angered, distressed and horrified by the actions of the new rightwing government. One after another synagogues have been gathering members to discuss the situation and what American Jews can do to retain Israel’s democracy. I listened to an excellent teaching by Fred Rosenbaum (offered through Under One Tent out of the Contra Costa JCC). I feel better informed. I have worried that Israel will take after America and the MAGA movement. I feel clearer about what I personally can do. Have a look yourself if you like. Here’s the link.

Our local Bay Area Jewish newspaper, the J-Weekly has covered a number of stories about the protests of American Jews and Israelis against the right wing government in Israel.
I enjoyed this speech by an American rabbi, Rabbi Sharon Brous of Ikar on a trip to Israel, stating that we American Jews stand with our Israeli brothers and sisters in their struggle to hold onto their democracy.
Having lived through four years of Trump and MAGA I am praying for both Israel and America. I believe in Democracy – with all the checks and balances.

Israel is the homeland of the Jews - all Jews. Just like family, we may be angry or upset with our loved ones, but they are still our family.

Our Non-Jewish Names

1/26/2023

I previously shared an article by a Jew by Choice whose given name is Chris. I asked if folks had notably NON-Jewish names and whether that hampered them in Jewish environments. Here are some replies.

My name means a lot to me. My mom chose it for me. I love the Jewish name I chose too but my English name is so much a part of me. To my mom, I am and always will be the name she gave me.

A new doctor I saw recently noticed my Jewish star necklace and asked me if I were Jewish. We chatted about it for a bit. I told him I was a Jew by Choice. He asked me questions. I don't mind answering them. It seems to come naturally to me. He seemed to have a lot of respect for my choice.

New neighbors moved in across the hall and the woman asked me if I were Jewish and referenced my mezuzah. I said yes and she said so are we!!! Yaaay! She said she would like to do Shabbat some time. How wonderful!
Shira

**

Try looking my name up in Hebrew! I’ll just say that it’s a “bad word.” Fortunately I don't know that many Jews who are sufficiently conversant in the language. I chose Yona (dove) for my Hebrew name.
Yona

**

My surname is Ireland. It is an Irish name; both Catholics and Protestants have it.

I understand how hard it is to be part of a community often enough under siege. It is hard to extend a welcome to strangers, and so as I have said, problems can happen involving trust.

The Jewish community is not the only one leery of outsiders. The Irish community is as well, though some may not realize it. It is due to its history, even extending to folk memories of events happening in 1658, when Cromwell invaded Ireland. During the next year, about a third of the Irish starved to death, were murdered, or sold into slavery in the Caribbean. I have those memories, because my mother comes from an Irish Catholic background.

I feel compassion for those threatened in the presence of an outsider, but also hurt due to experiences years back with Jewish peers, and also with Irish American political groups.

The name for this kind of distrust is PTSD.

It is a rare event to meet someone who understands how to say, stand down soldier, at ease, I will never hurt you.

That's a gift. Sure, someone like that might seem to be bending over backwards to extend an undeserved olive branch to someone who has done grievous harm. For example the Irish Protestant actor Stephen Rea, married a woman who was once a member of the IRA, and was arrested for a failed bombing attempt. Fortunately, she and her sister were apprehended.

Pretty bad decision on Stephen Rea's part or, maybe to understand much is to forgive much, even when it does not look possible.

There is someone on the other side of your fear of strangers, however justified and they may not be out to get you. We all need to give that some thought.
Ruth Ora

**

My full Hebrew name is Sarah Hineni bat Avram Aveinu v'Sarah Imenu. When I am called up for an aliyah, I get questions about it. I tell them this story.

My parents were working in Germany on a contract when my mom became pregnant with me. This was in the 1950s, when there were plenty of ex-Nazis around; also, if I'd been born in Germany I might have been subject to German conscription laws. So my mom came back to the States to have me, and my dad stayed on to finish out his contract. When I was born, my grandfather sent a telegram to the hotel where my dad was living. Dad went downstairs to the bar and ordered a round for the house to celebrate. All the Germans were toasting him, when the bartender asked him, "What is your daughter's name?" My father proudly replied, "Her name is Sarah." The bartender gasped in astonishment and said, "But that is ein Judisher namen!" (That is a Jewish name!) The bartender and everyone else in the room was scandalized.

I like to say that that bartender was prescient. At the time, and for many decades afterwards, I was NOT a Jew. There are no Jews anywhere in my family tree (although there are plenty of Sarahs). So when it came time for me to choose a Hebrew name, I saw no point in discarding a perfectly good one, especially one which had so irritated a bunch of ex-Nazis. So I added "Hineni", "I am here", as my second name. Therefore I am "Sarah Hineni bat Avram Aveinu v'Sarah Imenu" in the Tribe.
Sarah Hineni

**

It would be hard to get more WASPY sounding than my English name! But to be honest I have never had any questions re: my name not sounding Jewish. My conversion city of Indianapolis, IN was comprised of a large number of Interfaith and Converts. However, in FL where I now live many are native born Ashkenazi Jews from NYC. But never had any questions about my name as I mingle with others at Shul!

My Hebrew name is to honor my Father whose was name David and also, King David. Like King David I have fallen short on a great number of times. I just keep on keeping on!
David

I lost my conversion certificate. Now what?

9/29/2021

This correspondence was first published in my Mixed and Matched column for the J-weekly.

Dear Dawn: Many years ago, under the guidance of a Conservative rabbi in Queens, New York, I converted to Judaism. My records have been lost and no one connected with the synagogue has been able to help me in recovering the document of my conversion. What am I to do in this situation? I am more than willing to undergo the process again, but I don’t know if a rabbi would consider this appropriate. I am also currently living in a remote location; no Jewish community here. — Jewish for a long time

Dear JFALT: You’ve presented me with an interesting question I’ve never confronted before — so I did some research.
Here’s what I found. No matter which movement an individual chooses for their conversion, it is best for that person to hold onto their conversion certificate! If you are a Jew by choice, make a copy, upload it to the cloud, save it to your computer, put a copy or the original in your safe deposit box.
The responsibility is primarily on you, the individual.
That said, here’s how the three largest Jewish movements handle conversion records.
The Reform movement encourages its rabbis to send a copy of each of their converts’ certificates to the central archive in the American Jewish Archives in Cincinnati. Many of the Reform rabbis remember to do this, but not all of them. If you convert with a Reform rabbi, you should confirm that they do that for you.
The Conservative movement encourages its rabbis to send a copy of the certificate to the Rabbinical Assembly in New York. One Conservative rabbi I spoke with had never been told this information! The moral of the story: Speak up, ask for your records to be sent, and keep a copy for yourself.
The Orthodox movement has a few approved beit din (rabbinic courts) around the United States. This means that people seeking to convert must travel to the location of the beit din for an interview and, of course, mikvah. Each beit din retains its own records. Thus, converts who have worked with one of these courts must contact their court for a duplicate certificate.
Your inquiry, JFALT, led me to wonder: When have you actually needed to produce your certificate? I asked you, and you replied that while you have never had to show it, the certificate itself has great meaning for you.
In fact, it’s so important to you that you’ve decided if you can’t get your certificate via the Rabbinical Assembly, you have found a rabbi who will take you to the mikvah again and give you a new certificate.
I take my hat off to your commitment and sentiment! Still, I hope the Rabbinical Assembly can help you.
All of this left me with a question: When do Jews-by-choice get asked to prove their status? I asked rabbis from the same three movements.
The Reform and Conservative rabbis I spoke with said they’ve never asked someone to provide their certificate. They’ve never had occasion to question someone’s self-proclaimed identity as a Jew or as a Jew-by-choice, they said. (One Reform rabbi did get a call from a synagogue once asking if he had indeed converted a person who was applying to teach in their Hebrew school.)
It is different for the Orthodox community and rabbis. Halachah (Jewish law) is as binding for their community as American law is for U.S. citizens. Proof of Jewish status is required for people who want to be members of an Orthodox shul, put their children in an Orthodox day school, go to a summer camp or be married by the rabbi.
As a Reform rabbi said to me, “For traditional Jews, this is simply law, not personal.”
Obviously, if you have chosen to convert to Judaism via Orthodoxy, you learn this and take it on as your way of life.
Ironically, I note that rabbis either don’t ask about status or, if they are required to, they ask everyone, not just those who may have converted.
Let this be guidance to all members of a congregation: We lay people do not need to question another person’s status.

My rabbi doesn’t understand what Christmas means to me

12/24/2020

(This article originally appeared in my column Mixed and Matched in the J-weekly)

Dear Dawn: I am single and have no Jewish relations. But I have taken years to determine that I want to be Jewish. I am working on converting. I have one problem. My rabbi tells me that I have to give up Christmas. I have never practiced another religion, including Christianity, but I have always had Christmas with my extended family when I lived in the same state. When I moved away, I continued to decorate my house, including a tree. I love the smell of an evergreen tree. I love the lights and the special feelings of a holiday that it feels like the entire world is celebrating. I honestly don’t think my rabbi can understand how I feel because it is a lifelong practice for me and he has never done it. Do you have any suggestions? I’m at a standstill. I refuse to lie to him and currently I just can’t say I’ll give up having a tree. — Stuck

Dear Stuck: I think you are right that your rabbi can’t personally understand how you feel about Christmas. In America there is no Jewish holiday that the entire country celebrates. It might be helpful to have a frank discussion with him and articulate how this change feels for you — in detail. Being heard out is very powerful. I hope he will not waste time telling you why you need to give up Christmas and will simply affirm your feelings of loss.
If you were having an Orthodox conversion, the process would take a few years and you would be able to experiment with reducing Christmas traditions while at the same time increasing the role Judaism plays in your life. Since you are converting in one of the less stringent streams of Judaism, the process will typically take about one year. That means a student can potentially go from a year in which they have Christmas with all the trimmings to a year in which there is no Christmas at all. That kind of change is dramatic and can be quite hard. I think you need time to build up your Jewish practice, as well as your Jewish emotional and communal bonds. Right now you are thinking about going from “plenty” to nothing.
There is no rule that you must convert in a single year. Consider talking to your rabbi about taking your time to transition into being Jewish. Spend an additional year having Shabbat every week and attending shul for holidays, classes and social activities. Build your circle of Jewish friends. Begin imbuing each Jewish holiday with meaning and memories. Be sure to spend them with friends and with family, if that is possible. Make a point of starting a food tradition around your practice. Books like Joan Nathan’s “Jewish Holiday Cookbook” can help you get started.
If you intend to give up Christmas eventually, you could try talking to your rabbi about making it a gradual process after your conversion.
I am struck by how hurried some students are about becoming Jewish. They act like it is a race and the first one there wins. That simply is not true. Becoming Jewish takes time, and growing as a Jew takes a lifetime. The trip to the mikvah is just one stop on the journey of a Jewish life. Don’t let anyone pressure you to move faster. If you need to, you can take several years to make the transition.
You are not alone in this challenge. Many people who want to convert or are converting really balk at the idea of giving up the tree. This symbol is so loaded. For those who have celebrated all their lives, it is often deeply emotional. There are family memories that are wrapped up in the smells, sights, sounds and ambiance of this time of year. Not observing the holiday means that you may feel lonely and left out at times as the world around you embraces Christmas from September through December. That’s a pretty long time.
Being different is part of being Jewish. Finding community and meaning in that difference is central to living as a Jew.
Finally, many Jews by birth and Jews by choice do celebrate Christmas. You could find another rabbi for whom giving up Christmas is not a requirement. You must decide how you want to live as a Jew. If you decide to be a Jew with a tree, please don’t justify it as “not religious or important.” Be honest and say it is important, and be frank about your reasons.

How Do You Know You Are Ready to Convert?

2/19/2020

I read an article titled, How Do I Know If I’m Ready To Convert?
It was not written by someone who had them selves converted. Rather it argued that Seekers should not wait until they feel “perfect”. But the article offered lots of Talmudic quotes to support their idea. That’s fine, but fails to address the question of how does the Seeker know when they are ready? So I asked local Jews by choice to answer:

How Did YOU know you were ready to convert?
What knowledge, emotions, experiences made you think, I’m ready to be a Jew, please describe them.

Here are some answers:

Interesting... that was one of the questions from my conversion beit din. For my personal experience, there was never an "ah-ha" moment. At some point, whenever I hear comment / joke with an anti-semite undertone, I felt insulted because it was directed at ME. I took it personally! This actually went on for quite some time. When I found out I was excluded from the initial call of shomer when my friend Ruth died because I hadn't "officially" converted yet.

I said to my sponsoring rabbi, "Rabbi, what are we waiting for?"
He answered, "For you to say something."
"Well, let's do it." I said

As you see, it wasn't a clear-cut decision-making process. It was just a very calm and natural response to the lifecycle event at the moment... and that's why I ended up with Rut as part of my middle Hebrew name, to commemorate Ruth with the permission & support from her family.
Binah Rut

Interesting point. My conversion class included someone who had been studying and thinking about it for YEARS, like 25 years. He still didn't feel ready. I, on the other hand, felt ready from the moment I found out that conversion was actually possible, which I didn't know was a possibility till way after that inner light bulb went on in my head flashing the message "I wish I was a Jew". Imagine my happiness when I discovered conversion existed.

So my ready-time was never based on factual knowledge of Jewish stuff, of which I had not much. I wanted it to happen before I had ever set foot inside a synagogue; I had very little frame of reference, but then inner voices march to a different beat.

Following my classes I studied privately with a rabbi for around 6 months, and in a practical sense it was he who actually set the conversion date, saying "I want you to go before the beit din in time for you to celebrate High Holy Days as a Jew". Obviously he felt I was ready, otherwise he wouldn't have said that. My conversion was a couple of weeks before Rosh HaShanah.
Eli

I think people who were born Jewish forget that, for a non-Jew, it’s not as simple as just deciding to take the plunge. A non-Jew contemplating conversation does not do so lightly or flippantly. A conversion, at least for me, was a deliberate and symbolic leaving behind and turning away from everything (culture, religion, beliefs, traditions and sometimes even family) you identified with up to that point and embracing a new identity and way of life. Conversion can be extremely difficult and even painful - NOT an easy decision emotionally and psychologically. The internal struggle and final decision a convert makes is NOT about “feeling” perfect. Someone who makes that assertion is not only naïve but also devalues a convert’s experience and struggle.

My husband who is an Ashkenazi Jew, was oblivious to the difficulty I went thru contemplating my decision. He was impatient and tried to pressure me into converting sooner. Even saying he would ask someone else to take our infant daughter thru the Mikvah to make her ‘official’ because I was taking so long. I held my ground but not without resentment and hurt feelings. My daughter and I went to the Mikvah together – an experience I will always cherish.

Choosing conversation should NOT be made in haste – it’s a life decision that should be made deliberately, earnestly and sincerely. We converts might take a long time to make the decision, but when the decision is made, we make a life commitment.

What made me decide to make the decision? Having my daughter. I was already living a Jewish Life. We were members of a temple, I was VP of our Sisterhood, I sang in the choir and worked for a JCC. But my husband and I made the choice to raise our daughter Jewish. I felt I could not do that – teach her how to be Jewish - when I myself was not. I needed to be true to her and myself.
Margalit

My formal commitment to being Jewish, almost 3 years ago, was a very freeing decision.
Although I have been on the path for 61 years, this lifetime, the final "Hineni" came when I met Rabbi Nina. She teaches Judaism 101 at the local college here in Prescott, Az.
It was the ah-ha moment that questioning is what Judaism is all about! "Both/And".
I told my spouse, who had a Buddhist sensibility about Rabbi and how I thought she would really connect with her. Rabbi Nina called herself a "Jew Bu", having come back to her Jewish roots through eastern philosophy.
My spouse asked to meet about converting! I was thrilled, and the rest is history...
It is now a moment to moment breath.
Haddasah Raquia

I had thought about it on and off for years - as I had many Jewish friends who always included me - but I never thought I needed to convert. It wasn’t until I had kids, who were born Jews through my wife, that I began to change my mind. I suddenly realized I was the only gentile in our home and the the ramifications of the Nuremberg Laws weighed heavily on me.

I love my family, I loved our friends and I loved our Jewish community. This was my tribe, these were my people. And one day I just realized - I was already a Jew - and from that point on it was just a matter of officially confirming it. I cast my lot.

Since becoming Jewish, I feel more whole if that makes sense. It was this missing piece in my life. Looking back, I suspect I’ve always been Jewish; but being born an Irish catholic, I had to find my way back.
Yehudah

I realized I was ready to BE Jewish when I found myself complaining using Hebrew and ladino terms and thinking that my Christian friends had really strange ways of doing things, how couldn’t they see that the Jewish answer was so logical and sensible?

I’d been studying for almost two years at that point, I just went to our monthly meeting and agreed it was pointless to keep waiting any longer, I just said, “I feel it’s time” and just scheduled a date for the bet din
Adir

Another comment on Christmas

12/23/2019

I've received several emails about the challenge of Christmas, family expectations, and worries that the Jewish community will disapprove of something we do at Christmas time.

One reply - from Ruth Aliza - deserves sharing because it speaks to all of these.

I just wanted to thank you for sending this timely and thoughtful note about Christmas and Jews-by-choice. This year I'm spending Christmas morning with my parents and siblings (who live locally), and then spending the afternoon/evening celebrating Chanukah with friends. I've never missed Christmas dinner before, and it was hard to tell my mother that I was going to eat Chinese takeout and watch a movie! But it felt like the right thing for me this year---I wanted to both spend Christmas with my family, and do something that felt Jewish on that day.

Tangentially related: This week, I stopped by my neighborhood Walgreens to pick up some stocking stuffers for my family. As luck would have it, I ran into two different families from my synagogue while I was standing ("Rudolph" red-handed?) in the Christmas tchotchkes aisle. At first I was mortified, but then I realized: (A) Most people don't care what I've got in my shopping basket, and (B) It's ok! I no longer celebrate Christmas as a personal holiday, but my family does, and that comes with some practicalities....like buying stocking stuffers.

My P.S. to all of you is that born Jews also like things like eggnog, peppermint, gingerbread, bright lights in the dark of winter, and more. Be kind to yourself.

Just for fun, here's a delicious latke recipe for those of us who are not terribly fond of fried potatoes.

After the Pittsburgh Shootings (2)

11/8/2018

(photo taken by Sue Fishkoff, from the Jweekly coverage of bay area vigils for the victims of the Tree of Life killings.)

A woman who converted here in the Bay Area travels for work and lives for months at a time in Italy. She too replied to my question, "How are you doing after the Pittsburgh murders?"

From Binah:
I woke up this morning and ventured into the courtyard.
I smelled the signature crisp Fall air filled with lavender,
the heavy rain since last night infused with such beautiful smell.
A beautiful moment--
     made with all the right elements to uplift any walking soul on earth.
A beautiful moment--
     resonating the smell of clean innocent love on this tranquil Sunday morning.

But I have this heaviness in my heart,
and this uneasiness in my soul,
from the tragic event at Tree of Life synagogue the day prior.
I got a message from my dear friend here in Milano last night
immediately when she heard about the tragedy on Italian news.
A kind soul distraught by the hatred in this world, she is.
I had already heard of the news by that point.
But, for a moment I was still in loss of words.
How do one response to the existence of such hatred?
Does God exist, really exist?

The consolation I offered was to ask her to stay strong.
As kindred souls we are here to radiate the hope and love
we carry with the core of our souls into this world.
We are the product of love & lust of the moment.
We refuse to yield to adversity bestow upon us.
Adonai li v’lo ira

The late Lutheran pastor Martin Niemöller’s poem rings in my ear…

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out--
     Because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out--
     Because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
   Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Jewish by choice and Single

3/26/2018

When you convert to Judaism with a Jewish partner you have an automatic "in". You have someone knows something about Judaism. You may get a regular invitation to Jewish holidays. But when you are single you have to work harder to create your "Jewish family" unit.

You may have other differences that make you feel out of step with your congregation. Perhaps you are older (over 50), are gay or lesbian, don't have children. Maybe you don't have the money for Jewish events. Bottom line, you need a circle of friends that function like family; a place where everybody knows your name and expects you to show up.

One person expressed it this way, "I was wondering if you knew of any resources or articles or books about being single and observing Judaism? I’ve been really struggling lately. Being gay is also part of that. My shul isn’t homophobic at all, but programming is for sure for straight people. Anyway, any thoughts about single Jewish observance and life would be appreciated."

This is a reoccurring issue for single Jews by choice, so we asked everyone on the email list: If you are single, can you share some of your solutions & ideas? If you are not single, do you have a suggestion that might help?

(1) I’m single and understand the challenge of ‘feeling Jewish’ without a Jewish partner.
Ways that I continue to express my Jewish identity are by attending services, celebrating the holidays, watching YouTube videos, reading Torah and staying up to date on the Parsha readings, and having Judaica around the home. I don’t “keep kosher," but I do try to buy kosher meat as much as possible. It’s important to set goals (e.g. learn Hebrew, keep mitzvot, donate to a charity, etc.) too.

I understand how lonely it can be without a Jewish partner as I went from being in a relationship with a Jewish person to being single. It’s really not the same without that social element.

The only advice I have for this for people who have converted, like myself, is to concentrate on what in particular makes that individual feel Jewish on a personal level. Then one’s Jewish identity will shine even more.
Hannah

(2) Thank you for recognizing that being Single is a challenge regarding connecting to Judaism. Especially important is around the holidays, such as the upcoming Passover.

Here's what I've done to increase my connection:
1. Participated on a committee
2. Helped with planning the update of the temple website
3. Went through a B'nai Mitzvah (by far the most connection was felt here, learned Hebrew and to chant Torah and haftarah)
4. Joining the temple choir
5. Volunteering at the temple or for special events in any small way that I could.

Overall, I've found it helpful to get involved with ongoing activities. And if the activity involves getting through struggles together (like learning Hebrew or chanting Torah and haftarah) the better for deepening the connection. After all, when becoming Jewish, it's not just converting to a belief system, but its about becoming part of a people. So becoming integrated with the people is key.
Miri

More replies will be coming so stay tuned!

Living overseas as an American convert to Judaism

3/11/2018

(Milan Cathedral)

Is it challenging to live overseas, away from one's home congregation as a Jew by choice?

Binah was raised Catholic. Her first language is Chinese, "more so Cantonese, but I can speak Mandarin." In the USA she became attracted to Judaism. She chose to have a Conservative conversion. She remains involved with her US congregation when she is in the country, but her international work takes her to Italy for months at a time. Here are her thoughts on the topic.

Living half of the time in Europe does have bearing on my Jewish practice. In the whole of Italy, there are only about 40,000 Jews. When I first heard this statistic, I thought it was a mistake on the person's part -- Maybe he meant 400,000?!
[Note: There are between 40 and 45,000 Jews in Italy today]

Honestly, it is difficult to keep up with Jewish practice. But I think the difficulties also reaffirm my Jewish identity. I remember my rabbi and teacher emphasized that Kashrut is a daily reminder of holiness. I fully agree with that. So, with the challenge of international traveling, I have to find other ways to reminder myself of the connection and the daily holiness.

There are Holocaust survivors at my synagogue in California. Once I heard an elder member commented to young women wearing Star of David necklaces. She said it is fine to wear it in the USA, but she wouldn't recommend that anyone traveling internationally wear any identification marks on them, especially Europe and the Middle East. She has a point! I usually am a little more careful about revealing my Jewish identity in Europe. But if asked directly, I never have any reservation announcing proudly "Yes, I am a Jew." Even if that may bring me certain negative prejudice (and knock on wood it hasn't happened as I spend most of my time in urban Milan). And for this, I am glad the international travel served to reaffirm my identity!!!

The conversion process opened me up to a more free-thinking relationship between God and myself. I have had a free-thinking tendency since I was born, but certainly the conversion brought about the expression of it. I feel special to have had such an experience. This is one of the reasons that I feel a sense of belonging even though I am away from my home community most of the time. Global-trotting actually reinforces my Jewish identity in my heart and soul!

Did I do "enough" as a Jewish parent?

10/15/2017

Being a Jewish parent has its worried. Sometimes for Jews by choice there is a heightened worry, did I do Jewish right or enough? I received this letter which says it all better than I can.

Its take home message is Dayenu! You did enough!

For awhile now I have been worrying that my kids really aren't that "into" their Judaism anymore. They don't want to go to shul with us and they come to holidays for the food and friends. Of course this whole fear becomes magnified when you are an entire family of Jews by Choice. Did I do enough? Should I have pushed harder? Should we have helped them find more Jewish friends their age? ....and on and on.

Well several weeks ago I found my 27 year old son visiting our house rummaging around in the cabinet where I keep the Shabbat candles. "Mom," he asks, "Can I take our Shabbat candlesticks and Havdalah set with me to Burning Man?"

Turns out he planned to lead Shabbat and Havdalah candle lighting for his "tribe" at Burning Man comprised of numerous Jews.  He said he was inspired to do it because he remembered all the years of Havdalah under the stars at Camp Newman. He still hasn't returned them, and honestly I hope he doesn't. They are his now. L'Dor V’dor.

Meanwhile, our 30 year old daughter living on the east coast called this week to say she misses us and wants to come home for Hanukkah. I asked when she wants to come. She said, “all eight nights.”

Our youngest got teary when we talked about Camp Newman burning down. He launched into his memories of Camp Newman and Camp Tzofim and how he hopes one day if he has kids they can go away to Jewish summer camp.