Category: Conversion Process

Best Books for Beginners

8/18/2023

A frequent question from those just beginning to explore Judaism is, What book(s) should I read? Of course there are so many answers. But let me share Congregation Beth Sholom of San Francisco's list (with permission from their rabbi, Rabbi Amanda Russell)

Judaism 101: Recommended Reading List
This list was created with Introduction to Judaism students in mind, but can serve as a resource to any Jew-curious individuals.

Our Coursebook:
On One Foot, Rabbi Adam Greenwald
Aleph Isn’t Tough: An Introduction to Hebrew for Adults, Linda Motzkin

For more Information about Judaism
Living Judaism, Wayne D. Dosick
A Short History of the Jewish People, Raymond P. Scheindlin
Jewish Literacy, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
The Book of Jewish Values, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
Here All Along, Sarah Hurwitz

For Your Personal Journey
Choosing a Jewish Life, Anita Diamant
Living a Jewish Life, Anita Diamant
The How To Handbook for Jewish Living, Kerry M Olitzky and Ronald H Isaacs
I Am Jewish, ed. Judea and Ruth Pearl
The Book of Life, Michael Strassfeld

Jewish Prayer
A Guide to Jewish Prayer, Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz
My People’s Prayerbook, Rabbi Lawrence Hoffman
Entering Jewish Prayer, Reuven Hammer
Making Prayer Real, Rabbi Mike Comins

Theology and God
I and Thou, Martin Buber
Sacred Fragments, Neil Gillman
God in Search of Man, Abraham Joshua Heschel
When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Harold Kushner
The Jewish Approach to God: A Brief Introduction for Christians, Neil Gillman

Holidays and Shabbat
The Sabbath, Abraham Joshua Heschel
The Jewish Holidays, Michael Strassfeld
This is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared, Rabbi Alan Lew
My Jewish Year, Abigail Pogrebin

Women in Judaism
Engendering Judaism, Rachel Adler
Standing Again at Sinai, Judith Plaskow
Sisters at Sinai, Rabbi Jill Hammer

Spirituality and Wellness
A Responsible Life, Rabbi Ira Stone
Be Still and Get Going, Rabbi Alan Lew
The Wisdom of Not Knowing, Estelle Franke

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An Ocean Mikvah

11/3/2021

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An ocean mikvah experience in Hawaii

Can you use the ocean for your mikvah? You can! A friend of mine who LOVES the water asked about using the ocean. I contacted the conversion mentor, Lisa, at Sherith Israel because she told me that they have done ocean mikvahs. She asked one of her conversion students to write about his experience. Here's what he had to say.

When the day of my mikvah had come, it was typical San Francisco foggy weather but something was obviously different about it. I felt a bit intimidated by what's going to happen to me, yet I was calm and at peace. It felt that something very important is going to occur, spiritually significant. When I was taking off my clothes with the skies being orange because of the smoke from forest fires, I caught myself correlating this with the verses, when the world was just emerging in the Torah and that the culmination of the most important moment in my life is about to happen. I was ready to step into the cold waters of the Bay but, surprisingly, the water was beyond comfortable, as if HaShem covered me with his warm tallit to save me from cold temperatures. Rabbi Jessica and Lisa were mentally holding my hands as I went further and further into the water. All my intimidation disappeared once I looked back at them. Water became very pleasant. When Rabbi Jessica pronounced the prayers and I submerged three times - my entire life flashed in front of my eyes, even the moments that I almost forgot about! Once I came back from the water, the world became different, clearer, I even became more aware of the people and notions around me. This is something I don't think I can explain with simple words: it must be felt and the feeling is amazing. This was especially important for me because this way I spiritually bring my Jewish ancestors together and keep that connection: my long-"erased" Jewish ancestry is now restored! That's why my entire conversion at Sherith Israel was so important to me.
--Aharon

I turned back to the conversion mentor, Lisa, for more details about an ocean immersion. I asked about HOW it is done and about the temperature of the water. She said:

We did the two Bay mivkahs I attended at the beach by the St. Francis Yacht Club; I believe the other one was at Aquatic park, but more or less same environment. The people stripped down to bathing suits on the beach, went into the water and removed their bathing suits under water. After performing their immersions they put their bathing suits back on under water and came out. We wrapped them in towels to dry off and then the put their clothes back on; there is a restroom very close by that they could use if they wanted to remove their wet bathing suits before putting their clothes on. They recited the Shema in the water. They did not hold a Torah - we don’t do that at the indoor mikvah either; the recitation of the Shema is the last thing after the immersions. We all shivered and sang siman tov and mazel tov.

My sense is that people have found the water to be very cold but they are so excited that it doesn’t actually feel cold; both the people I witnessed said it felt good.

Quite honestly, because it’s the Pacific Ocean, hence cold, windy, and usually choppy water, it’s kind of a hodgepodge. It’s hard to hear because of the wind; they can only let go of their bathing suits for a brief second, etc. Immersion in a calm ocean or lake would be a much more tranquil affair and offer more opportunity for intentionality. And yet, you see from Aharon’s narrative how meaningful it was to him to do it this way.

I can't resist sharing with you Aharon's additional comments about making aliyah and living in Jerusalem.

The High Holy Days were magnificent here! I got to know a couple of families in the suburbs of Jerusalem who are affiliated with the Ramban synagogue and we had an amazing celebration. It truly feels more connected to HaShem over here, even though they're from the Orthodox denomination. I know different parts of Israel are quite different in a religious sense like Jerusalem can go too extreme in terms of observance but nobody really cares about Judaism in Eilat. I love Jerusalem! I truly found my spiritual destination here and will stay here. Probably, I'll have to undergo Orthodox conversion (more symbolic, than actual) here as Rabbi Avigdor Nebenzahl will require it to become a full-fledged member. I'm shocked about the number of young Americans in there who study the Torah with such dedication. The English version of the Torah comes in handy as I'm still learning Biblical Hebrew. Russian too, to be honest, but, I believe, submerging myself into the language environment - that's the only good way of actually learning the language. Yes, it's very challenging, but having such a big team with me is very important, a day here flies by very fast when I'm at the Torah discussion. I'm absolutely grateful to HaShem that I ended up here, in the Holy Land.

You can read more here on My Jewish Learning, but I found this article to be rather discouraging.

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I lost my conversion certificate. Now what?

9/29/2021

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This correspondence was first published in my Mixed and Matched column for the J-weekly.

Dear Dawn: Many years ago, under the guidance of a Conservative rabbi in Queens, New York, I converted to Judaism. My records have been lost and no one connected with the synagogue has been able to help me in recovering the document of my conversion. What am I to do in this situation? I am more than willing to undergo the process again, but I don’t know if a rabbi would consider this appropriate. I am also currently living in a remote location; no Jewish community here. — Jewish for a long time

Dear JFALT: You’ve presented me with an interesting question I’ve never confronted before — so I did some research.
Here’s what I found. No matter which movement an individual chooses for their conversion, it is best for that person to hold onto their conversion certificate! If you are a Jew by choice, make a copy, upload it to the cloud, save it to your computer, put a copy or the original in your safe deposit box.
The responsibility is primarily on you, the individual.
That said, here’s how the three largest Jewish movements handle conversion records.
The Reform movement encourages its rabbis to send a copy of each of their converts’ certificates to the central archive in the American Jewish Archives in Cincinnati. Many of the Reform rabbis remember to do this, but not all of them. If you convert with a Reform rabbi, you should confirm that they do that for you.
The Conservative movement encourages its rabbis to send a copy of the certificate to the Rabbinical Assembly in New York. One Conservative rabbi I spoke with had never been told this information! The moral of the story: Speak up, ask for your records to be sent, and keep a copy for yourself.
The Orthodox movement has a few approved beit din (rabbinic courts) around the United States. This means that people seeking to convert must travel to the location of the beit din for an interview and, of course, mikvah. Each beit din retains its own records. Thus, converts who have worked with one of these courts must contact their court for a duplicate certificate.
Your inquiry, JFALT, led me to wonder: When have you actually needed to produce your certificate? I asked you, and you replied that while you have never had to show it, the certificate itself has great meaning for you.
In fact, it’s so important to you that you’ve decided if you can’t get your certificate via the Rabbinical Assembly, you have found a rabbi who will take you to the mikvah again and give you a new certificate.
I take my hat off to your commitment and sentiment! Still, I hope the Rabbinical Assembly can help you.
All of this left me with a question: When do Jews-by-choice get asked to prove their status? I asked rabbis from the same three movements.
The Reform and Conservative rabbis I spoke with said they’ve never asked someone to provide their certificate. They’ve never had occasion to question someone’s self-proclaimed identity as a Jew or as a Jew-by-choice, they said. (One Reform rabbi did get a call from a synagogue once asking if he had indeed converted a person who was applying to teach in their Hebrew school.)
It is different for the Orthodox community and rabbis. Halachah (Jewish law) is as binding for their community as American law is for U.S. citizens. Proof of Jewish status is required for people who want to be members of an Orthodox shul, put their children in an Orthodox day school, go to a summer camp or be married by the rabbi.
As a Reform rabbi said to me, “For traditional Jews, this is simply law, not personal.”
Obviously, if you have chosen to convert to Judaism via Orthodoxy, you learn this and take it on as your way of life.
Ironically, I note that rabbis either don’t ask about status or, if they are required to, they ask everyone, not just those who may have converted.
Let this be guidance to all members of a congregation: We lay people do not need to question another person’s status.

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Transitioning to my true self includes converting to Judaism. Can I?

8/11/2021

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I received an inquiry to my column in the J-weekly, Mixed and Matched, about whether a transperson could convert to Judaism. Here is what they wrote.

I have been depressed much of my life because I don’t fit the gender I was born with. I want to transition and I want to convert to Judaism. Some Jewish friends have told me I can convert and others have said I can’t. I know that I have to transition to my true gender in order to find life worth living. I also very much want to be Jewish. I have read a number of books and listened to teachings online. I think a Reform rabbi would accept me. Can you tell me if that is correct? I fear that I may be more tradition oriented than the Reform movement. I’m not saying I want to be Orthodox. Do I have any other option? If it is permitted, how do I get started?
— Big Changes

Here is my reply:
Dear Big: You are correct that you can convert to Judaism with a Reform or a Conservative rabbi no matter how you define your gender. Conservative Judaism may be the path for you given your interest in a more observant lifestyle. Orthodox streams of Judaism would be more challenged to accept you, so you seem to be positioned well for a middle path.
I will note that asking Jewish friends for help with questions about conversion is a common practice, and the non-Jewish person may be confused by the answers. You were wise to ask several people and to determine that none of them appeared to have the final answer, even though each spoke to a certain truth. I’m glad you reached out to me for assistance.
Reading on your own and learning online is a good start, especially during the pandemic. The next steps are these:
Determine whether Conservative Judaism is right for you. Explore the websites of Conservative shuls near you, attend their services online and check out the national headquarters, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism.
Find a sponsoring rabbi. You’ll need a rabbi who is your teacher and guide as you learn about Judaism and prepare to lead a Jewish life. As you “attend” services, try to get a feel for the rabbi(s) at your local synagogues. Call the ones with whom you feel comfortable and talk to them about how they are handling the conversion process at this time. Tell them your concern about being accepted as a trans person so that they can reassure you. Be prepared for awkward exchanges about the human body, because conversion is different for males and females (as males are expected to be circumcised). Please be aware that these issues, while rather commonplace for rabbis, may not be for you. Just tell them if you feel uncomfortable so they can adjust their approach.
Study. You’ll need to learn a lot, and your sponsoring rabbi will guide you in this. They may also want you to attend a basic Judaism class. (There are a number online.) The advantage of a class is that you’ll meet a number of others who are also curious learners.
Experience the Jewish calendar. The vast majority of rabbis require that a student study with them for at least one year. This allows the student to become acquainted with each holiday.
Decide that Judaism is right for you. The second advantage of your study taking a year or more is that you have adequate time to determine whether you really do want to become Jewish. No rabbi expects you to commit to converting at the outset. Rather, rabbis want to study with you and wait to see if you decide this is really what you want.
Formally convert. When you and your rabbi believe you are ready, you will go before a beit din (rabbinic court) and, if they give you their approval, you will go to the mikvah (ritual bath). Since you, Big, may also be scheduling surgeries, you’ll need to determine with your doctor when it is safe for you to immerse in water.
I have a dear friend who transitioned to their true self — a different gender than how they were born, and a different religion, too! At times they were sad or impatient that things weren’t happening faster. I tell you what I told them: “Put one foot in front of the other. Take the steps that are necessary for both these changes. Time will pass and you will be your correct gender and a Jew.”
Make friends at the synagogue of your choice. Ask your rabbi to introduce you to others who have converted so you can exchange questions, answers and stories. If the shul has an LGBTQ group, ask if you can join it even before you are a Jew.

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One Synagogue's Conversion Program

12/4/2020

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Most rabbis have a very personal approach to working with a conversion student. However, some synagogues spell out their process on their website. I want to share with you the conversion program at Sherith Israel in San Francisco. I love that they use shul members as mentors to each student. This is certainly something you could ask for if your rabbi doesn't mention it. Often a member will help to integrate you into the community and host you for Shabbat dinner or holiday activities.

Here is description I received from Lisa Erdberg.

Congregation Sherith Israel’s “Journey to Judaism” program is both welcoming and rigorous. The San Francisco Reform synagogue’s program derives its strength from the collaboration among clergy, volunteer mentors, and seekers. Senior Rabbi Jessica Zimmerman Graf leads the clergy team and congregant Lisa Erdberg serves as the “mentor macher,”* coordinating the program.

“Journey to Judaism” is a three-part program; the first part consists of a 14-session “Introduction to Judaism” course, followed by a basic Hebrew course; the second part involves one-on-one work with a volunteer mentor, who creates a personalized experience for the individual and helps them learn to “do” Jewish; the final part consists of meetings with a member of the clergy team to discuss some of the more challenging aspects of Judaism. The culminating experience is the Beit Din, mikvah, and formal welcoming in the congregation at a Shabbat service.

Creating a personalized experience for each individual through the relationship with a dedicated mentor is an essential aspect of Sherith Israel’s program. We endeavor to meet each individual where they are and provide the type of experience they need, whether it’s more experientially-oriented or more intellectually-oriented - everyone’s needs are different and are honored. We also emphasize that the journey to Judaism is ongoing, a lifelong undertaking for those who choose to set out on the path.

* Macher or makher: Yiddish word meaning influential person, fixer," literally, "maker,"

You can find Sherith Israel's program detailed here.

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Did you ever fear going to hell if you converted?

12/1/2020

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A woman who is contemplating conversion to Judaism asked me the following question. I posed the question to our list of Jews by Choices. Beneath her question I have listed the caring answers.

(Note: A number of people expressed concern that this woman wasn't ready to convert and who is her rabbi that isn't picking up on her worries. She is NOT yet working on conversion. These are theoretical concerns as she ponders the meaning of conversion.)

I have a sense of anguish when thinking hypothetically of converting and I feel a sense that I'm going to hell; do other converts feel this way? A sense of loss?

#1 This is only partially related, but I left the religion I was raised in during my mid-20s, about 10 years before I started studying Judaism for conversion. But the process of leaving that Christian religion in my 20s came with all kinds of “deprograming” that I had to work through. Many religions that are “high cost” (meaning they ask a lot of social and identity commitments from adherents) actually create deep mental and emotional pathways in our brains that can take years of work to get through. In Judaism, this would be like growing up Hasidic and then trying to leave your Hasidic community in your 20s. Even moving from Hasidic Judaism to Conservative or Reform Judaism is a huge cultural, mental, and emotional transformation, and it’s the *same* religion. Does that make sense?

So from my experience, that this woman has her old religion’s claims on her rearing up during the conversation process makes sense and is relatively normal, especially if she grew up in a kind of Christianity that actually believes in hell (many mainline and liberal versions of Christianity downplay or reject the idea of hell completely (and Catholicism is split on the issue across a spectrum), so she sounds like she was probably raised more conservative evangelical?).

Anyway, I don’t know that it helps much, but whether or not she ultimately converts to Judaism, it can be important part of leaving a religion that has a firm hold on our habits of mind to practice reminding ourselves, “I don’t believe that anymore” or “that was what I was taught, but I don’t believe in that.” A lot of self-compassion and awareness are required.

Of course I’m coming from a particular background and my (Mormon) baggage is heavy and still at age 50 can rear its head in unexpected and painful ways (usually in other areas of my life, not in my Judaism).
Asher

#2 Never, ever thought I was going to hell if I converted. Never! Ever! I had long before stopped believing in my Catholic (Christian) religion before I even considered Judaism. Maybe she is not ready.
Shira

#3  Not being a hell-believer, this isn't anything I can personally relate to but I do have some thoughts. Christianity has a very well-developed sense of Hell (over-developed in my opinion) with eternal damnation etc. In that sense, it's a "negative" religion with the threat of Hell hanging over everything and where it's all about avoiding Hell at all costs. Meanwhile, Judaism has its Sheol but that seems pretty vague and is less defined, not much talked about, and is less of a "moving force" in Judaism, which is a more "positive" religion where it's all about doing the right thing, as opposed to the dread of doing something bad like going to Hell.

If the writer is concerned enough to ask the question then my gut feeling is she is considering conversion too soon. She might consider waiting till her sense of Christian Hell is lessened, which she could do by studying up on the "positive" aspects of Judaism, and thus not dwell on the "negative" aspect of Christianity.

Which is not to say Christianity is all negative, but Fear is a big deal in many forms of Christianity and I don't see that in Judaism much, certainly not to the same extent. A "kindly" Christianity would say "thanks for being part of us but we respect your need to move on to Judaism", whereas a "negative" Christianity would say "you are a sinner for jumping ship and you will go to Hell for it". So a concurrent approach would be to re-craft her outgoing Christian thinking to where she sees her form of Christianity in the kindly category, one which allows her out without retribution.
Eliezer

#4  There are a variety of emotions that I had to resolve during my conversion to Judaism. Christianity definitely brainwashes people that the ONLY way into heaven is by believing in Jesus. I have Christian friends who try to guilt trip me into converting to Christianity. They don't know that I converted from Christianity to Judaism because that would be opening up a can of worms so I never share that fact with them. After they try to guilt trip me, I just smile at them and remain silent then move the conversation away from the topic.

BUT with that said...

Based on fishing expeditions by well-intended Christian friends, I have felt from time to time the guilt trip a little bit. But it's the type of guilt that you feel when someone shames you for something, even when you know you did nothing wrong. I’ve had that done to me as a cruel control mechanism.

Christianity teaches that you are guilty just by being born (that's the concept known as original sin), that there is no way G-d can forgive you by your own merits, and that Jesus MUST continually intercede on your behalf otherwise you will be sent straight to hell when you die, where you will burn FOREVER with no hope of reprieve. So if you repent with wailing and gnashing of teeth in this lifetime, you can be forgiven only through God's grace bestowed to you in your pitiful condition. But you have to continually ask for forgiveness, so "forgiven" is not the end of the story. In the analogy of a court of law, in Christianity G-d is the judge AND the jury. Christianity as a whole preaches the ONLY salvation is through the "blood of the lamb (meaning Jesus who died on the cross to redeem us from sin)." That message is a very persistent drumbeat. One hears it MULTIPLE TIMES in every service and in every lesson.

But in Judaism, G-d is the defending attorney! This is a huge paradigm shift. If you have been brainwashed, it takes time to fully embrace the new paradigm. And with Jewish guilt added in, well you get my point. LOL

So... when I reflect back on the fact that converting to Judaism was the ONLY place that I felt at home, I quickly got over the guilt trips. But I can definitely understand if someone is wrestling with this. Especially if they recently left Christianity.
Miriam Eliana

#5 I was quite perplexed with the question. Conversion is a long and very personal process. I am sensing at this particular point, she is still considering. That's OK to ponder with questions in order to seek the personal answers -- it is nothing to be shameful about. There is a reason we study with Rabbi and get involved in the community during conversion process.
Binah

#6  Good heavens. If she believes that part of her religion, why on earth is she considering converting? For me, the whole "you're going to hell if you don't believe this" piece of Christianity never EVER sat well with me. I nodded my head in agreement because I was trying with every fiber of my being to believe it. The alternative to believing it being an eternity of consumption by flames. What a relief to find a religion that encourages me to question everything (thanks, Judaism!) and that doesn't have any firm belief (as far as I know of) about what happens when a person dies. I love the quote I heard from a rabbi on NPR once who said something to the effect of: "The people who tell you what happens when you die don't know; the people who know what happens when you die can't tell you."

This woman doesn't sound like she's ready to convert or to even consider it a hypothetical option if she can't shake the belief of hell for "non-believers" in the afterlife.
Ruth

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How Do You Know You Are Ready to Convert?

2/19/2020

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I read an article titled, How Do I Know If I’m Ready To Convert?
It was not written by someone who had them selves converted. Rather it argued that Seekers should not wait until they feel “perfect”. But the article offered lots of Talmudic quotes to support their idea. That’s fine, but fails to address the question of how does the Seeker know when they are ready? So I asked local Jews by choice to answer:

How Did YOU know you were ready to convert?
What knowledge, emotions, experiences made you think, I’m ready to be a Jew, please describe them.

Here are some answers:

Interesting... that was one of the questions from my conversion beit din. For my personal experience, there was never an "ah-ha" moment. At some point, whenever I hear comment / joke with an anti-semite undertone, I felt insulted because it was directed at ME. I took it personally! This actually went on for quite some time. When I found out I was excluded from the initial call of shomer when my friend Ruth died because I hadn't "officially" converted yet.

I said to my sponsoring rabbi, "Rabbi, what are we waiting for?"
He answered, "For you to say something."
"Well, let's do it." I said

As you see, it wasn't a clear-cut decision-making process. It was just a very calm and natural response to the lifecycle event at the moment... and that's why I ended up with Rut as part of my middle Hebrew name, to commemorate Ruth with the permission & support from her family.
Binah Rut

Interesting point. My conversion class included someone who had been studying and thinking about it for YEARS, like 25 years. He still didn't feel ready. I, on the other hand, felt ready from the moment I found out that conversion was actually possible, which I didn't know was a possibility till way after that inner light bulb went on in my head flashing the message "I wish I was a Jew". Imagine my happiness when I discovered conversion existed.

So my ready-time was never based on factual knowledge of Jewish stuff, of which I had not much. I wanted it to happen before I had ever set foot inside a synagogue; I had very little frame of reference, but then inner voices march to a different beat.

Following my classes I studied privately with a rabbi for around 6 months, and in a practical sense it was he who actually set the conversion date, saying "I want you to go before the beit din in time for you to celebrate High Holy Days as a Jew". Obviously he felt I was ready, otherwise he wouldn't have said that. My conversion was a couple of weeks before Rosh HaShanah.
Eli

I think people who were born Jewish forget that, for a non-Jew, it’s not as simple as just deciding to take the plunge. A non-Jew contemplating conversation does not do so lightly or flippantly. A conversion, at least for me, was a deliberate and symbolic leaving behind and turning away from everything (culture, religion, beliefs, traditions and sometimes even family) you identified with up to that point and embracing a new identity and way of life. Conversion can be extremely difficult and even painful - NOT an easy decision emotionally and psychologically. The internal struggle and final decision a convert makes is NOT about “feeling” perfect. Someone who makes that assertion is not only naïve but also devalues a convert’s experience and struggle.

My husband who is an Ashkenazi Jew, was oblivious to the difficulty I went thru contemplating my decision. He was impatient and tried to pressure me into converting sooner. Even saying he would ask someone else to take our infant daughter thru the Mikvah to make her ‘official’ because I was taking so long. I held my ground but not without resentment and hurt feelings. My daughter and I went to the Mikvah together – an experience I will always cherish.

Choosing conversation should NOT be made in haste – it’s a life decision that should be made deliberately, earnestly and sincerely. We converts might take a long time to make the decision, but when the decision is made, we make a life commitment.

What made me decide to make the decision? Having my daughter. I was already living a Jewish Life. We were members of a temple, I was VP of our Sisterhood, I sang in the choir and worked for a JCC. But my husband and I made the choice to raise our daughter Jewish. I felt I could not do that – teach her how to be Jewish - when I myself was not. I needed to be true to her and myself.
Margalit

My formal commitment to being Jewish, almost 3 years ago, was a very freeing decision.
Although I have been on the path for 61 years, this lifetime, the final "Hineni" came when I met Rabbi Nina. She teaches Judaism 101 at the local college here in Prescott, Az.
It was the ah-ha moment that questioning is what Judaism is all about! "Both/And".
I told my spouse, who had a Buddhist sensibility about Rabbi and how I thought she would really connect with her. Rabbi Nina called herself a "Jew Bu", having come back to her Jewish roots through eastern philosophy.
My spouse asked to meet about converting! I was thrilled, and the rest is history...
It is now a moment to moment breath.
Haddasah Raquia

I had thought about it on and off for years - as I had many Jewish friends who always included me - but I never thought I needed to convert. It wasn’t until I had kids, who were born Jews through my wife, that I began to change my mind. I suddenly realized I was the only gentile in our home and the the ramifications of the Nuremberg Laws weighed heavily on me.

I love my family, I loved our friends and I loved our Jewish community. This was my tribe, these were my people. And one day I just realized - I was already a Jew - and from that point on it was just a matter of officially confirming it. I cast my lot.

Since becoming Jewish, I feel more whole if that makes sense. It was this missing piece in my life. Looking back, I suspect I’ve always been Jewish; but being born an Irish catholic, I had to find my way back.
Yehudah

I realized I was ready to BE Jewish when I found myself complaining using Hebrew and ladino terms and thinking that my Christian friends had really strange ways of doing things, how couldn’t they see that the Jewish answer was so logical and sensible?

I’d been studying for almost two years at that point, I just went to our monthly meeting and agreed it was pointless to keep waiting any longer, I just said, “I feel it’s time” and just scheduled a date for the bet din
Adir

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The Value of Learning Hebrew

10/15/2019

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Do you HAVE to become fluent in Hebrew to convert? No. But you do have to learn SOME Hebrew. Why you must learn some of the language seems obvious to some, but here is a beautiful statement by Rabbi Larry Milder of Beth Emek in Pleasanton that expanses our understanding.

Unlock the Treasures
“Reading a poem in translation is like kissing a woman through a veil.”
So said the great Hebrew writer Hayim Nahman Bialik.

We are captives of our language. That is particularly true of our understanding of Judaism. We think we know what our texts mean, but, when read in English, we are only appreciating them through the filter of our language.

Language contains within it a world view. Yes, we can pray in English. Yes, we can study Torah in English. But we are missing the associations, the resonance of the text itself.

Puns: “Your name is to be Abraham, for I am making you the father of a multitude of nations” doesn’t make any sense in English, but in Hebrew, “Abraham” sounds like “father of many nations.”

Words built on common roots: Kiddush (the blessing over wine for Shabbat), Kaddish (the prayer recited by mourners) and Kiddushin (the wedding ceremony) are all related concepts (that which is set aside), something that cannot be recognized by calling them by their English names.

Acrostics: Ashrei, based on Psalm 145, is a poem in our prayer book that works as an acrostic, but entirely loses that device the moment it is translated.

This hardly scratches the surface of what is missing, or, for that matter, what is entirely misunderstood in translation.

As the expression goes: A translator is a traitor. (Actually, it goes “traduttore traditore.”)

The key to unlocking the treasures of Judaism is Hebrew. And learning Hebrew is easily within your reach, particularly the basic vocabulary that can make prayer understandable.

It’s not just meaning: knowing some Hebrew can enable you to see the beauty in the language of prayer.

Whether you are a beginner, or someone who needs a refresher, we offer a class for adults to learn Hebrew, starting with Alef-Bet, learning to read the Hebrew alphabet. It’s simple, fun, and instantly rewarding.

Beth Emek's Hebrew classes are listed here. Just about every synagogue offers Hebrew. Check the website of the synagogues around you.

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How did you choose your Hebrew name?

1/23/2019

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(A necklace of the name, Elisheva from the website www.israelblessing.com Take a look. They are quite beautiful.)

The Jewish online magazine Kveller offered an article titled, Call Me By My (Hebrew) Name. We sent the article to the list and asked about people's reactions.

Nadav replied this way in regard to choosing his own name.

Recently I have been going by my Hebrew name from school to work and when meeting others.
The reason I picked out the name Nadav is that I wanted a name that was strongly contemporary in the Jewish world (in Israel it is somewhat modern) but yet it is a Hebrew name and defines my Judaism. I wanted to choose something "different" or not too common. I did not want to go by Moshe, Menachem, or Ya'akov. I considered those names since I thought they were "very Jewish". There is this artist in Israel that represented Israel in the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest and his name is Nadav and I liked it so that is how I chose my Hebrew name. I have thought of changing it to my legal name but haven’t yet.
I have been told modern Hebrew speakers that my name means “generous” and I think it fits me pretty well.

Note: Yes, Nadav does indeed mean “generous” or “noble” and is the name of the priest Aaron’s eldest son.

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Converting babies and children to Judaism

3/16/2018

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Reasons for converting a baby or child
* When a parent converts to Judaism they may decide to convert the children they already have.
* If a Jewish or interfaith couple adopt a baby, they may want to convert the little one.
* When a non-Jewish woman has a child and wants to raise the child Jewish with her Jewish partner, she may want to the child to be officially converted.

The reason for converting a child in one of these situations is to ensure that a larger percent of the Jewish world will view the child as authentically Jewish.

How it works
EVERY conversion/convert holds the status of the rabbi(s) who performed the conversion. So an Orthodox conversion is accepted by all streams of Judaism. A Conservative conversion is accepted by Conservative and the Reform/Reconstructionist /Renewal movements. Conversions by a Reform, Reconstructionist or Renewal rabbi will be accepted by that same group of rabbis.

Additionally, every rabbi will have their own requirements for how the child will be raised by the parents in order for the rabbi to be willing to perform the conversion. So it is vital that you contact the rabbi to learn what will be required! In interviewing rabbis about their requirements I found that all of them, including the Orthodox, had their own, nuanced requirements.

Requirements can be things like this:
Family must be members of a synagogue
Observing Shabbat and the Jewish holidays
Enrolling the child in Hebrew school, or perhaps a Jewish day school
Keeping a kosher kitchen

Some aspects of a child's conversion are the same as an adult. Male children will have to be circumcised. If they are already circumcised, a traditional rabbi will require that they have hatafat dam - a ritual drawing of a few drops of blood from the penis. Both male and female children are taken to be immersed in the mikvah. One of the parents, dressed in a bathing suit, takes the child into the mikvah and dips them under the instructions of the rabbi. Many rabbis have little suggestions or tricks for helping to get a baby to close their eyes and hold their breath. (I've been told that blowing on a baby's face causes them to do so.)

But it is also up to the child
The ancient rabbis had a very thoughtful debate about a child who is converted by their parents or guardian. They believed that the child had a say in their identity. Thus, at the age of Jewish adulthood, typically 12 for a girl and 13 for a boy, the child is asked whether they want to be Jewish. They are free to say, no, and decline to be a Jew. Or they can affirm the decision that was made "for them" and live as a Jew.

This idea of individual autonomy runs against many other religions and can be difficult for non-Jews, or Jews lacking education in this area, to understand. Personally, I believe it is one of the most beautiful things about Judaism.

This article from My Jewish Learning about converting a baby or child is quite good.

Have you had your child converted? Please share your experience and recommendations in the comments below.

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