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One Synagogue's Conversion Program

12/4/2020

Most rabbis have a very personal approach to working with a conversion student. However, some synagogues spell out their process on their website. I want to share with you the conversion program at Sherith Israel in San Francisco. I love that they use shul members as mentors to each student. This is certainly something you could ask for if your rabbi doesn't mention it. Often a member will help to integrate you into the community and host you for Shabbat dinner or holiday activities.

Here is description I received from Lisa Erdberg.

Congregation Sherith Israel’s “Journey to Judaism” program is both welcoming and rigorous. The San Francisco Reform synagogue’s program derives its strength from the collaboration among clergy, volunteer mentors, and seekers. Senior Rabbi Jessica Zimmerman Graf leads the clergy team and congregant Lisa Erdberg serves as the “mentor macher,”* coordinating the program.

“Journey to Judaism” is a three-part program; the first part consists of a 14-session “Introduction to Judaism” course, followed by a basic Hebrew course; the second part involves one-on-one work with a volunteer mentor, who creates a personalized experience for the individual and helps them learn to “do” Jewish; the final part consists of meetings with a member of the clergy team to discuss some of the more challenging aspects of Judaism. The culminating experience is the Beit Din, mikvah, and formal welcoming in the congregation at a Shabbat service.

Creating a personalized experience for each individual through the relationship with a dedicated mentor is an essential aspect of Sherith Israel’s program. We endeavor to meet each individual where they are and provide the type of experience they need, whether it’s more experientially-oriented or more intellectually-oriented - everyone’s needs are different and are honored. We also emphasize that the journey to Judaism is ongoing, a lifelong undertaking for those who choose to set out on the path.

* Macher or makher: Yiddish word meaning influential person, fixer," literally, "maker,"

You can find Sherith Israel's program detailed here.

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Getting Help with Conversion Around the World

12/7/2017

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We frequently receive requests for assistance with conversion from countries around the world. We simply don't provide that. There is an organization called Kulanu that offers help in a number of countries. You can take a look at their map of the communities in which they work to see if they can help you. They list these communities.

Abayudaya
Anousim, Crypto-Judaism
Brazil
Cameroon
Columbia
Cote d’Ivoire
Ecuador
Ethiopia
Ghana
Gabon
India
Italy
Ivory Coast
Kenya
Lemba
Madagascar
Nicaragua
Nigera
Peru
Poland
Papua Indonesia
Suriname
Tutsi
Uganda (Abayudaya)
Zimbabwe (Lemba)

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Conversion didn’t grant ‘born-Jewish privilege’

3/18/2016

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(The stories of four individuals are combine to make this letter from the Jweekly Mixed and Matched column.)

I have a Jewish father and non-Jewish mom. I was raised with some Jewish activities at home and when I got into college, I began to explore Judaism. By the time I was 27, I decided to convert. I found a Conservative congregation and converted with the rabbi. A couple of years later when I wanted to go to Israel, someone pointed out that Orthodox Jews wouldn’t consider me Jewish. I went back to my rabbi and asked him about this. He said, “Yes, that’s true. But what do you care what those people think?” I wanted to curse him with unprintable words about his “born-Jewish privilege!” How dare he be so cavalier about my feelings and my identity! I left his synagogue and am now going to an Orthodox shul and converting there. There should be full disclosure by rabbis and someone should tell them to stop leaning on their blind privilege. I’m really angry about this. — Could Have Used an Honest Rabbi

Dear Could Have Used: I can hear the anger in your statement. I am so sorry. I know that anger is one of the ways we react to pain. Clearly, this rabbi hurt you deeply.
Of course, you are right. Yes, every rabbi should clearly articulate the huge range of Jewish views and spell out who will accept what when it comes to conversion. I am surprised that your rabbi failed to do so. I am not minimizing your experience, but I want you to know that you are not alone. There are Orthodox Jews who aren’t accepted by other Orthodox Jews.
Second, you are so right, there is born-Jewish privilege and those who have it are often oblivious to how it serves them. Your Conservative rabbi may not be accepted as a rabbi by Orthodox rabbis, but he will certainly be accepted as a Jew. He doesn’t have to study or go before a beit din or go to the mikvah. He was born into that identity and it is his for life.
He can chose to walk away from it, change his name and become a Catholic priest, but the moment he returns to a synagogue, he’s in. Some would roll their eyes, but once a Jew, always a Jew, no matter how they behave.
I venture to say that part of the rabbi’s curt response was not about you; it was about him. He was quick to dismiss what “they” think because from an Orthodox perspective, it is his conversion work that is unacceptable. As you see now, the Orthodox are happy to convert you, using a process that they find kosher, i.e., acceptable and authentic. Sadly, many people are too focused on themselves to get their own ego out of the way in order to listen to the pain being expressed by another. It is also possible that the Conservative rabbi has a twinge of guilt for failing to fully inform you, and he was hastening to cover his embarrassment.
Finally, my friend, there is simply too little information available about conversion — whether for those with Jewish heritage or those with none. I hope that as more adults with a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother seek conversion, the Jewish community will take on the responsibility of providing complete information, making it easily accessible. In doing so, everyone will profit.
Remember that your voice and your experience are important and need to be shared. I can assure you that you are making yourself part of the solution to a challenge that faces the entire Jewish community. You are to be commended for that. Should you want to speak about this publicly, please let me know. I am currently planning a half-day conference for May 22 titled “Growing Up Interfaith.” Your thoughts are welcome.

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A Cantor Kvells about Conversion

7/3/2015

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Cantor Jennie Chabon of B'nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek sent out a beautiful email to her congregants about her delight in serving on a beit din for a young woman.

You'll enjoy reading it.

Chaverim,

Some days are just good. Good for the soul, good for the world, good for the Jews. Tuesday was one of those days.

Rabbi Gutterman and I participated in a beit din and mikveh for a young woman in our congregation with whom I had been working towards conversion for the last couple of years. She's an incredibly thoughtful person who felt moved to convert because she's married to a Jewish man, and they want to raise children with two Jewish parents. This is not unusual. According to Anita Diamant, ninety percent of converts to Judaism have a Jewish partner. But though her marriage inspired her to convert, it was clear to us during her beit din that she is meant to be Jewish all on her own. At the end of her beit din, our third witness, Rabbi Ruth Adar, said simply, "I see a Jewish soul." That's when you know that the journey towards conversion is complete. It's not mastery of liturgy or Torah or Hebrew that makes a person feel ready to convert. It's an internal shift that is visible to the people witnessing the transformation.

What made her ceremony Tuesday morning particularly moving was that she was not immersing in the mikveh alone. She was taking her baby girl with her, so that they could both reemerge as Jews. According to Reform Jewish law, her baby was Jewish already because her father is Jewish, but these parents wanted to start their Jewish journey together on the same day, in the same sacred moment of immersion. As it says in Yevamot 47B, "As soon as the convert immerses and emerges, he is a Jew in every respect."

I have hardly ever seen anything as beautiful as that moment on Tuesday morning: two parents in the mikveh holding their naked little girl, committing her to a Jewish life by immersing her in holy waters. And they had to be brave! It's not easy to willingly submerge your baby underwater, for even just a couple of seconds. She came up crying from the shock of the water, but somehow that seems fitting too. The Jewish path, meaningful and joyful as it is, is not easy. She went through something surprising and maybe a little scary, and her parents were there to guide and cradle her through it. Like I said, some days are just good.

It is a blessing to the Jewish community whenever someone converts to Judaism. I feel honored each and every time I get to witness that moment, and I learn something valuable from every person. We are a stronger and brighter people because of the many souls who feel called to join us on our winding path. This Shabbat, I will send out extra songs and blessings to the newest Jewish family in our congregation, with gratitude for their decision to enrich not only our own congregation, but the entire Jewish people.

Shabbat shalom,

Cantor Chabon

NOTE TO BAY AREA RESIDENTS: The Anita Diamant statistic that 90% of converts have a Jewish partner is not true here. In fact, it is probably no longer true in America. Here in the bay area many more single people and non-Jewish couples are converting.

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Making Aliyah to Israel

1/8/2015

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About a year ago in a letter to the J-weekly, a man who had converted to Judaism in California wrote about his disappointment in learning that he was not considered Jewish by the state of Israel and therefore was not eligible to make aliyah. I am used to people taking bureaucratic processes personally so I decided to investigate. I emailed Rabbi Mates-Muchin of Temple Sinai to ask how aliyah works for an American convert. Here is her reply. It covers ALL forms of travel to Israel, not just aliyah. Note that Rabbi Mates-Muchin is a Reform rabbi and if you are from another stream of Judaism you should check with your own rabbi.

*****

Visas and Israel
The most important thing you need to know about visas in Israel is that the process comes in two types: the “general” one that applies to everyone, and the “Jewish” one that applies if you prove you are Jewish. When you go to websites that explain what you need in order to apply for and obtain a visa, they are often giving you the details for the general visa. This information is accurate if you are either not Jewish or you are Jewish but do not want to go through the Jewish verification process.

Let's start with the general process. Here is what you need to know.

Visa for Entry to Israel
A standard B/2 tourist visa is issued at the border for countries who have visitation agreements with Israel (see the status of your country: http://www.mfa.gov.il/MFA_Graphics/MFA%20Gallery/Consular%20forms/VisaRequirements.pdf). This visa is usually valid for up to three months. You are not allowed to work if you enter the country with this visa. If you leave the country and then return, in most cases, you will receive a tourist visa for another three months.

If you are from a country that does not have a visitation agreement, you must obtain a visa from an Israeli Consulate prior to your arrival in Israel.

Work and Student Visas
If you are coming to Israel as a student or in order to work in Israel, you must obtain your visa through an Israeli Consulate prior to your arrival. In the general process, if you come into Israel on a tourist visa, you can not change it to a student or work visa while you are here. See the Ministry of Foreign Affair Website for all the documentation needed to secure a visa from outside of Israel. Contact your regional office (or “mission”) for specific questions.

Visa Extensions
If you want to extend your visa, you have to apply at the Ministry of the Interior (Misrad Hapanim) in Israel. This site has a listing, in English, of the Misrad Hapanim branches throughout Israel. You will likely need an appointment to begin your application process, so it is a good idea to call in advance. If that is not possible or just doesn't work, you should also be able to make an appointment in person.

The following are the requirements listed on the English forms from the office of the Ministry of the Interior in Jerusalem. You may be asked to produce all or only some of these documents, but it is best to come as prepared as possible.

A/2 Student Visa:
1. Passport, valid for a least six months beyond your stay in Israel
2. One passport sized picture
3. A completed application for you and for every member of your family.
4. Birth certificates and marriage certificates when applicable
5. A letter from your educational institution
6. Transcripts from the past year
7. Documentation of adequate funds
8. Apartment lease or dorm contract
9. 175 shekel fee

B/1 Work Visa
1. Passport, valid for a least six months beyond your stay in Israel
2. One passport sized picture
3. A completed application for you and for every member of your family.
4. Birth certificates and marriage certificate when applicable
5. A letter from your employer
6. Proof of medical insurance
7. 165 shekels for a regular visa or 330 for a multi-entry visa

B/2 Tourist Visa
1. Passport, valid for a least six months beyond your stay in Israel
2. One passport sized picture
3. A completed application, for you and for every member of your family.
4. Birth certificates and marriage certificate when applicable
5. A letter explaining your reason for being in Israel
6. If you are staying because of friends or family, provide a letter of explanation and a photocopy of their ID card(s)
7. Proof of funds and an airline ticket out of Israel
8. 175 shekels

Those are the general requirements for obtaining a visa abroad or extending a visa while you are in Israel.

To be eligible for the Jewish process, which ultimately offers more benefits, you have to verify your Jewish status.

Proving your Jewish Status
First, the benefits. As a Jew in Israel, you are not just a tourist, you have some rights. You can stay on a tourist visa for at least a year, if not more. You will be able to go from a tourist visa to a student or work visa. For any visas you obtain in Israel, the fees are waived. Additionally, you only have to go through the process once. After you prove your status as a Jew, you are in the system as a Jew, even for the purpose of making aliyah.

Next, the process. To get the benefits, you have to prove that you are Jewish. Though you apply through the Ministry of the Interior, the confirmation process goes through the Jewish Agency. The Agency doesn't differentiate between their approval of someone's Jewish status for the purpose of aliyah or if someone is applying for a two week tourist extension, so, be prepared that it may take some time.

The basic form of proof is a letter from a recognized rabbi verifying that you are Jewish. “Recognized” means a member of one of the rabbinic professional organizations, such as the CCAR(Reform) or the RA (Conservative). If your rabbi pays dues to one of these professional organizations, she/he should appear on one of the recognized lists.* The letter must state that the applicant is “Jewish by birth”, is a member of the rabbi's congregation (or whose parents are members of the congregation) and that the rabbi knows that the applicant's mother, father or both parents are Jewish. The letter has to be written on letterhead that includes the name of the congregation, address, phone number, and the rabbi's name. Keep in mind that every application is different and the Agency may ask for more information.

If you have converted to Judaism through the Reform movement, you will also need to produce all of your conversion documents. The process will be more complicated and will likely take more time. It is best to contact attorney Nicole Maor at IRAC (center@irac.org) in advance of your travel to Israel so that you know what to expect and you can bring the necessary documentation with you.

For the purpose of a visa, if you prove you are a Jew by patrilineal descent**, you will be accorded all of the rights of Jews under the Law of Return's second amendment that gives rights to members of Jews' families. Spouses, children, spouses of children, grandchildren and spouses of grandchildren of verified Jews would all fit into the category of members of Jews' families. The definition of a Jew under the Law of Return, however, is someone born to a Jewish mother or someone who has converted to Judaism and is not practicing another religion. Unless you went to the mikveh and have additional documentation, as a patrilineal Jew, the Jewish Agency will consider you a non-Jew. In light of this, you may want to weigh the benefits of initiating the “Jewish process” depending on the kind of visa you need. If you have questions, contact attorney Nicole Maor (center@irac.org) of the Israel Religious Action Center.

If you are applying for a visa or visa extension as a Jew, or as one of the aforementioned relatives of a Jew, you will need your proof of Judaism documents as well as all other items listed in the general process section above.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not feel pressured into proving your Jewish status. You will encounter people who will assume you will want to go through the process, but remember, it is your choice. If you are simply extending your tourist visa for three months, you might prefer to just pay the fee. If, however, you plan to be in Israel for longer than six months, or if you plan to apply for a student or work visa in Israel, the benefits will likely outweigh the burden of the extra time and effort. If there is a chance you will opt to go through verification, it is recommended that you bring all of your
documentation with you to Israel.

If you encounter issues with the process of proving your Jewish status, feel free to contact attorney Nicole Maor at center@irac.org.

*Note from Dawn: To my knowledge the rabbis from the Renewal movement have not yet applied to the Jewish Agency to have their status and the status of their converts recognized. Before you begin conversion it is a good idea to check with the rabbi you want to work with to find out whether they are on the list as a Recognized Rabbi. Orthodox rabbis will have a somewhat different process since they want their conversions to be accepted not only by the Israeli government, but also by the religious authorities.

**Close relatives of someone who is Jewish up to a grandchild-in-law have a right to make aliyah under the Law of Return. So, they could go and become a citizen, but they would not be considered Jewish. It may be a significant distinction because it would prohibit them from things like getting married, but at the moment lots of Jews are also not able to do that. So patrilineal Jews are not considered Jewish by the Israeli rabbinate but can make aliyah. They should know that because people will tell them they are eligible as a relative of a Jew not because he or she is a Jew. Again, I think the trauma of all this would be greatly reduced if people know what to expect. At the Ministry of the Interior, people will say you are not Jewish but can come because your father is, assuming you can prove that. If you want a visa or if you want to make aliyah, just know what they are going to tell you as they complete their paperwork so that it doesn't shock or insult you in the moment. The clerk you are talking to can't do anything about it. It will just make the process less emotionally traumatic for you if you understand that this is a bureaucratic function.

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Messengers of Love: Rabbis & Jews-by-Choice in Interfaith Relationships, by Rabbi Menachem Creditor

1/14/2014

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I never thought, while in rabbinical school, that so many people would be interested in converting to Judaism. Nor could I have anticipated my own joy at being present with someone charting a new Jewish path. It is, quite simply, the most meaningful thing I do. I am most aware of the transformative power of Jewish values, learning, and living most deeply when someone exploring them reflects them back to me.

And so, these many years of Jewish meaning-making with "New Jews" leads me to respond to a related question I was recently asked with acquired experience and profound joy.

Question: What should a rabbi's response be when a married person wishes to convert to Judaism while their supportive non-Jewish partner/spouse is not interested in converting to Judaism?

Answer: A person's religious journey is deeply personal, and when blessed by a supportive partner/family, then their own "becoming" is healthy and beautiful. The challenges of intermarriage are just that: challenges. But to whom do they belong? Not to the rabbi or to the "community." They belong to the family, including but not limited to the Jewish member. When Midrash Tanchuma (Lech Lecha 6:32) says that God's Love for a New-Jew surpasses God's love for a Born-Jew, it is because the choice of a Jewish covenantal relationship with God demonstrates a profound statement of Jewish commitment. How much moreso when that person's individual commitment will require inner-family negotiating. It is no simple thing to be in a blended family of any kind. The Jewish community is obligated to welcome and support every Jew, born and emerging. This is a moment when rabbis can truly be messengers of holy love.

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Response #3: How Did You Find a Rabbi?

7/9/2013

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I have a friend who had a friend who is a member of Temple Sinai. My friend sent an email introducing me to the synagogue member. That woman put me in touch with her rabbi. I called the rabbi, left a message and we set up a meeting. The rest was history! I'm Jewish!

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Response #2: How Did You Find a Rabbi?

7/9/2013

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Some of these stories point out the difficulties that lay on the conversion path. Contact Dawn! She can help. And there is no fee for this service. dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org ALSO, if YOU have a story, send it to us!

I asked another soccer mom on my kids' team who I knew was Jewish what temple she went to and how she liked it. Then I called the synagogue and asked if they had beginning Judaism classes. The rabbi said no - that I should just come to Shabbat.

It took me 6 months to work up the nerve to go to a service. I emailed an on-line anonymous Rabbi with my stupid questions during the 6-month period until we went to an actual service. Finally the on-line Rabbi said - go to services, already, when they say Shabbat Shalom say Shabbat Shalom back and everything will be fine. And it was.

When we went we got love-bombed by the temple president and educator. It was an overwhelming but good feeling. Both of them turned out to be huge supporters of us (my husband and myself) on our journey to Judaism. What can I say... it's a tiny temple and when strangers walk in they are hopeful you will join.

We had to take the initiative to talk to the Rabbi at that point and as I recall we made an appointment to meet with him in his office. We joined the synagogue within a week of attending our first service. Oneg Shabbats for the first couple months were also pretty intense. We stood out because we were new. When people asked where we attended before we would just say we hadn't affiliated yet. An assumption was made, I think, that we were perhaps interfaith - since people would remark repeatedly that our last name wasn’t “a Jewish name".

We were definitely a curiosity. The first time someone not already married to a Jew wanted to join and convert apparently.

I do love my rabbi from that shul and he was a great Rabbi to convert with. I have to admit, however, he was pretty curt on the phone during that first encounter and while he greeted us when we arrived that first Shabbat, he did not acknowledge my prior phone call at all. I did all the approaching to him.

Once we told him we were serious about wanting to convert (which was right away when we started attending), then he started meeting with us.

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New Question for Our Readers: How Did You Find a Rabbi?

7/8/2013

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Dawn, I called YOU! Seriously!

I think the steps were:
- I took a Judaism 101 class at Lehrhaus, taught by Rabbi L in Berkeley. When I needed to talk with someone about my life after the class, I went to her. She was very instrumental in helping me realize that I wanted to convert, and in fact had sort of been on that path for some time.

- I called you. You broke things down for me re: my options (Reform, Conservative, Orthodox). I knew I wanted to study Conservative. We discussed what Rabbis were local. Since we knew Rabbi Kelman at Netivot was retiring, I started attending services at another conservative shul, and discussed conversion with their Rabbi, who was very enthusiastic and supportive.

- But, I just knew in my heart that it wasn't the right fit. After attending many services, I woke up one Shabbat morning and said to myself, "Today I will just go to Netivot Shalom and see what it is like. It's okay if I miss one Shabbat at this other shul. I just need to try and resolve this feeling of discomfort." Well, I loved it. I was nearly in tears. I felt so at home in their sanctuary, with the service, and with the people. So I knew I had to speak with Rabbi Kelman. I wrote that I knew he was retiring, but wondered if there was any chance he would have time to talk with me. He was gracious and we talked and I studied for conversion with him. I wrote a letter to the other Rabbi explaining my decision, and he responded wishing me well. Since Rabbi Kelman was retiring, he decided to hold an Adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah class, so any adult who missed out could have one during his tenure. It couldn't have been better timing. I was able to both convert and have a Bat Mitzvah with him, in that congregation.

Many thanks to you, Dawn, and Lehrhaus for helping me on my journey!

If you need help with your conversion, contact Dawn Kepler. There is no fee for this. She's at dawn@buildingjewishbridges.org. And if you'd like to tell your own a story here, let us know!

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A Personal Story of a Young Woman's Path to Becoming Jewish

2/20/2013

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As my boyfriend, Gabe, and I became more serious in our relationship we started engaging in discussions about Judaism. I had always been supportive and interested in Gabe's Jewish practice, but there was a point when we realized that we needed to figure out how Judaism would fit in the life we were building together, not just individually. We had great discussions about Gabe's beliefs and practices, but we always ended with lots of questions about where this all fit with my life. Converting to Judaism was something I had never ruled out, but I had no idea how I would find out if it was right for me.

When Gabe and I got engaged we decided that it was time to get some answers to all of these questions. Gabe had been attending Kol Emeth for shabbat services, so he contacted Rabbi Booth to find out if we could talk to him about the conversion process. We were very open with him about the fact that I did not know if I wanted to convert, but I was ready to start learning. We began meeting with Rabbi Booth for an hour once a week, usually at his home, and he would have a specific topic to discuss. Sometimes our topics involved upcoming holidays or important Jewish concepts like kashrut, or sometimes they were about important Jewish values that play a part in your everyday life. I felt very comfortable with Rabbi Booth and I knew he was the exact person we had needed to help us define Judaism's role in our life together. He was warm and funny and full of smiles every time we saw him. He would invite us over to watch football with his family and was always interested in what was going on in our lives. He was extremely passionate about his Jewish studies and was constantly coming up with new analyses and ideas that he wanted to share with us. Each week we engaged in intellectually stimulating conversations that Gabe and I would continue at home as we continued to think through everything he had presented to us. He packed so much information and ideas into each hour that we often felt we needed the rest of the week to sort through and digest it all! Rabbi Booth made me realize that Judaism is a modern religion that grows and evolves with its people. It is a growing, living religion to which each person contributes as they engage in study and form their own beliefs.

I always felt that Rabbi Booth was very connected to our situation and our process. I left each weekly meeting with inspiring new ideas about how I wanted to live my life and excited about what I was discovering about myself. Rabbi Booth never pressed me to commit to converting, and instead just let me know that he would continue to study with me as if I were a conversion student until the day I came to him and told him that it just wasn't for me. He said he would be sad to see me leave, but he would completely respect my decision. After a few months of studying, I realized that I loved the life I was living as a Jew and I wanted to continue to learn about and practice Judaism for the rest of my life. I felt that the Jewish ideals I was learning about had been a part of me all along and now Gabe and I were embarking on this amazing journey to discover more and find out how we would create our life together. We continued to study weekly and Rabbi Booth even met with us through video chat when we moved to DC a few months before my conversion date so he could continue to guide us in our journey. The entire process was an amazing experience that has changed my life forever. Rabbi Booth has a special place in my life and we are so happy that he will be marrying us in June.

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One Synagogue's Conversion Program

Getting Help with Conversion Around the World

Conversion didn’t grant ‘born-Jewish privilege’

A Cantor Kvells about Conversion

Making Aliyah to Israel

Messengers of Love: Rabbis & Jews-by-Choice in Interfaith Relationships, by Rabbi Menachem Creditor

Response #3: How Did You Find a Rabbi?

Response #2: How Did You Find a Rabbi?

New Question for Our Readers: How Did You Find a Rabbi?

A Personal Story of a Young Woman's Path to Becoming Jewish

Thoughts from our Email List

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