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Was it Hard to Let Go of Jesus?

10/2/2020

5 Comments

 
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A woman contacted me with the following request:  I’m seeking to understand conversion and what makes people convert basically. What makes a person choose one religion over another and convert eventually. I have burning questions. May I pose them to you?
 
First Question
Christians believe that Jesus is their savior and that he's the son of God; without him, there is no way to get to Heaven otherwise. How did you handle the feeling of letting go of Jesus and the idea that was the only way and letting go of the salvation of your soul? I know many Jews and Christians who think Jesus was more a prophet than the son of G-d. So was it easier to put him in that view? Did you feel any anguish or emotional conflict?
​
I sent this inquiry to our Jews by choice and asked for their replies. Here's what they said.

Eliezer
My own observations are these: 
Christianity has different degrees of belief (just as Judaism does).  
 (1) You can be a Christian with a minimal sense of Jesus and Heaven, ie such people are "ritualistic" Christians where it's more a matter of tradition and community and reciting familiar words; Jesus being your savior and Heaven are vague undefined elements.
(2) Then there are "active" Christians who really do believe in those things and for whom Jesus is the whole point of their lives.
(3) And then there are people from a Christian heritage who think it's all a bunch of hooey.  
 I imagine that a Christian who converts to Judaism either fell in the first category all along and was drawn to Judaism because Judaism gave their love of ritual some meaning; or they had been in the second category and outright lost their faith; or they were in the third category and were glad to recognize in Judaism a religion that doesn't rely on supernatural stories about virgin births and walking on water.  
 Going from the first category to Judaism would be a process of evolving; it's all but impossible to believe someone could jump from the active second category straight into Judaism; it's quite likely that many, many converts come from the third category. 
 So on your questioner's question about "letting go of Jesus": for the Jewish convert he was already gone.

Binah
Interesting... As you know I grew up in the Roman Catholic school and the last thing my school principal Sister Madeleine said to me at graduation was, "You know I and the other sisters here in the convent love you a lot, you are a very special child.  Please promise me you will be baptized one day before you die.  I really want to be able to see you in heaven!"
 
So it got me thinking about why is the "heaven" idea so quintessential to the Christianity ideology.  And of course the holy trinity -- Father, son and the holy ghost.
 
For the years after that traumatizing request, I spent years studying and learning about other religions as a hobby.  Actually, it is more of a process of personal search.  For me personally, it was the Daoist philosophy that helped a lot with the conversion process, believe it or not!  It was the idea of karma from the eastern philosophy (Dao, Buddhism and Ayurvedic altogether).  In this universe, we are all beings searching for happiness.  And if we think about it, happiness is different for everyone because of the influence of personal religion, upbringing, environment, family, etc.
 
Sister Madeleine was right, in her ideology.  The basis of her message was out of love.  If we take one step up on the macro chain, her love was based on the boundary she defined, so I appreciate the love fully.  Am I damned if I am not a Christian?  Well, the question is... Jesus was a good Jew.  He was the "son" in the trinity, therefore, he only accepted the Father and Holy Ghost out of the trinity.  So, what do you say to that???
 
At the end, I think if we can accept the different meanings of happiness to different people AND let it be.  Just accept the fact that different people have different ideologies, but the most important is we all strive to be kind in our own definition.  That is MY essence of tikkun olam. After all, we are in pursuit of happiness in this world.

Ruth
I was raised “born again.”
I feel no anguish AT ALL about letting go of the idea that belief that Jesus is the son of G-d as the only ticket to heaven. I was raised Christian and was TORMENTED by this being drilled into my head. I never truly believed it, although I claimed to because I knew if I didn't I would spend eternity in hell being tortured for my sins and be consumed by flames. But it never ever ever made sense to me or felt like it could possibly be even remotely true. When I discovered that one of the responsibilities required of being Jewish is to question everything, I couldn't convert fast enough. It's a horrible feeling to be told that you are going to hell because you don't believe in your heart something people are telling you you have to believe.

Lirit
I grew up Catholic, and I thought about this question a lot. 
 
I had great regard for Jesus, and especially for the things he said about showing kindness to other people. I thought that he spoke for God but had always (since the age of 8 or 9) had a hard time believing that he was God. Why would any human being be God? It worried me that I had to believe this, above all, in order to be saved -- to not spend eternity in hell. Why were my thoughts more important than my actions?
 
In high school I went with a boyfriend to some Protestant retreat where we were told that anyone who didn't believe in Jesus would go to hell. I said that I didn't think a merciful God would send Jews to hell -- God had made covenants with the Jews. The minister quoted various new testament verses to me. I just couldn't buy it. Jews had been born into their religion, just like I had.
 
I became an agnostic and married 2 agnostics of Jewish descent. At 60 I had a gig at a synagogue, and when introduced to the rabbi, asked if I could make an appointment to talk to her. 
 
She gave me a lot of things to read, and I learned that Jews do not view the Messiah as a savior from sin, nor will he be God. There's not really a lot about the Messiah in the Torah.
 
When I got closer to conversion, Rabbi M-M asked me (as, she told me, she asks everyone who grows up Christian) what my relationship to Jesus was. I told her that it was rather like my relationship to Abraham Lincoln -- someone in history that I think a lot of, and even love. But do I think either of them were God? No. 
 
Later, as I read about early Christians and the Roman Empire, I wondered if the Romans didn't deify Jesus so that they could ignore most of the humanitarian things he said. What they thought mattered most was belief in him.
 
I'm not worried about being saved. I have a relationship with God, which must mean the same thing, and I don't believe in eternal damnation. I don't know what happens afterward, but I have chosen to live a Jewish life.

5 Comments

Deciding to Convert after Years in an Interfaith Marriage

1/6/2015

1 Comment

 
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As my children were attending the Peninsula Temple Sholom preschool, I became very curious about Judaism and how to build a Jewish life for my family. My husband clearly identifies as a Jew, but had not been raised in a strong religious tradition. I had been raised as an Episcopalian. Through the preschool and adult education courses, we started to feel a part of the community, and believed that making a commitment to raise our children in the Jewish tradition would enrich all of our lives.

I approached Rabbi Dan Feder about studying with him. He was very warm and welcoming. We had numerous (almost monthly) meetings over the course of a couple years. (Generally the process takes about a year, but I had extended it.) Rabbi Dan would suggest that I read one or two books a month and do a brief write-up, which helped to focus my thoughts. He carefully and thoughtfully addressed all of my questions. I was also able to take a few adult education courses with Rabbi Dan.  He teaches with humor and an engaging style. As a prior religion major, I particularly loved the readings and delving into discussions with Rabbi Dan. His guidance has helped to shape my Jewish identity and frame the questions that I have as I continue this journey.

A fundamental part of my family’s Jewish experience has involved creating roots in the Jewish community. Both Rabbi Dan and Rabbi Rebekah Stern have been helpful in our quest to create community at Peninsula Temple Sholom. We have developed sustaining friendships and community through the activities at the preschool, events at the religious school, and through classes and services.  I am very grateful to Rabbi Dan for his patience and guidance during the past few years of my studies
.

1 Comment

Why Be Jewish? Our 4th Response.

8/22/2011

0 Comments

 
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​I could write a book with this response. Quite simply. I converted to be Jewish, not just to live Jewishly.I believe you should be Jewish in order to perform certain things, like perform an Aliyah. However, I think it's up to the Rabbi to make the call. This is especially important in the case of people studying to convert (but not yet converted) and interfaith families.

Converting, instead of just living Jewishly, is a symbolic act of your commitment to the community, with all the rights and responsibilities therein.
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Why Be Jewish? Another response.

8/21/2011

0 Comments

 
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​Another response to the last post on:  Why be Jewish?
 
I read all the comments to the article. Intellectually I know that I converted because I wanted to be a Jew - to take on the responsibilities of and reap the rewards of being a member of the tribe. It wasn't because I wanted to do something specific in the synagogue. But, because belonging to a synagogue is pretty important to converts (especially those of us who have no Jewish family whatsoever - not even in-laws) the idea that anybody can walk through the door of a temple and be seen as equal to converts without doing the work involved to convert rubs me the wrong way.  To me, it devalues the conversion process if nothing is required of someone.   One of the things I liked least about growing up as a Protestant was anybody could walk through the door of the church and purport to share those same values - but in reality their belief system could be all over the map.  What I like about Judaism, and in fact what drew me to it in large measure, was that there is a shared belief system and you have to learn about it, go through a process of claiming it as your own, and then as a Jew you are held accountable by other Jews if you do not live up to those standards. 
 
Quite different than someone who is lukewarm to the idea of being a Jew because their family might get upset or friends might not understand. 
 
You can't be a little bit pregnant and you can't be a little bit Jewish - at least that's what I think. You either are or you aren't. 
 
Every convert has had their own obstacles in the process of their conversion. Family members get incensed, friends ask questions that make you uncomfortable, fellow Jews don't "get" why you want to be Jewish.  It's a big deal to convert and a process one should have to go through to become Jewish. It toughens you up for living a Jewish life.  By going through that process you claim your Jewish identity in a way that you couldn't have if there not been those challenges.  
 
I was thinking about Daniel Pearl's declaration of "I am a Jew" before he died.  It is a claim I too would be willing to make, if faced with it. Would someone who attended my synagogue who was unwilling to convert be able to say the same if they were being persecuted for being affiliated with a synagogue? How would their declaration go - "I thought about becoming Jewish but decided the feelings of my extended family who would be annoyed or disappointed if I converted came first, so I didn't, but I really like the Jews and feel 'Jewish,' but I'm really not a Jew - my spouse is and we've raised our kids that way. Yes, I admit, I am asking my kids to live and die as a Jew, but I'm not willing to do the same myself." 
 
I know that sounds harsh - but through the lens of a convert active in my synagogue - that was my immediate reaction to the discussion. It sounded to me more like people who want it both ways:  convincing the clergy that they should be allowed to do everything a Jew does in the synagogue or else they will raise their kids outside the temple or something.   If the clergy really doesn't believe being a Jew is of value - then we're really in trouble.  Warm bodies at all costs. I don't get it.  You can be warm and welcoming and not give away the store.  
0 Comments

Why Be Jewish? Another Response...

8/18/2011

0 Comments

 
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​I could write a book with this response. Quite simply. I converted to be Jewish, not just to live Jewishly.

I believe you should be Jewish in order to perform certain things, like perform an Aliyah. However, I think it's up to the Rabbi to make the call. This is especially important in the case of people studying to convert (but not yet converted) and interfaith families. 

Converting, instead of just living Jewishly, is a symbolic act of your commitment to the community, with all the rights and responsibilities therein.
0 Comments

Why Be Jewish?

8/15/2011

0 Comments

 
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​When the Jewish community is asking itself about how to be inviting to interfaith families the question of conversion often comes up.  Should non-Jews be allowed to do everything a Jew can do?  Does it make any difference if someone lives among the Jews versus actually converting? 

One respondent to an internet dialog asked, If you believe that conversion is nice, but it has no bearing on one's ability to "belong to" and "participate in the life of" the community, then in what way does the "identity" conferred by conversion "matter?"

I posed the question to some Jews by choice (converts).  I want to share the replies with you.


Here is the first answer.


Good topic!  Something I think about a lot.
 
There are three states:  (1) being involved but not converting; (2) being involved and converting; (3) converting but not being involved.  While Number 2 is the ideal, Numbers 1 and 3 show that actively belonging to the community is separate from converting, often related to it but not necessarily so.  It's like being a resident alien with a Green Card as opposed to taking the oath and becoming a citizen.  That final act makes you a real member of the club as opposed to just a visiting guest. 
 
The "belong to" and "participate in the life of" sentiments miss out on an important element, which is the Jewish People.  When you convert you become part of Am Yisrael (ie the People of Israel).  If you are not converted you are only an associate of said people, but not actually one of them.  A convert can make aliyah to Israel; a "Jewish associate" never could.  The participating-in sentiment is alive only for as long as you actually participate; whereas once you are converted you could do nothing overtly Jewish yet you are still a Jew (ie Number 3 above).  Converting is the step which makes your belonging-to irrevocable.

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