BECOMING JEWISH
  • Welcome to Becoming Jewish!
  • What's New?
  • Reading Recommendations
  • About Our Rabbis
  • Jewish Places in the Bay Area
  • What Do I Have to Do to Become Jewish?
  • Why Be Jewish?
  • Online Jewish Resources
  • Our Conversion Stories
  • Judaism FAQ
  • Contact Us
  • Blog: Into the Jewish Pool
  • Media Coverage
  • Converting Outside the USA
  • Conversion Videos

What Changed When You Converted? What did you think would change, worried would change, hoped would change?

9/19/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture

I didn't think too much about my decision.  There were concerns in the back of my mind, but not my driving force.  I thought my partner and I would grow closer together, as she is Jewish.  And so we did.

I was worried that I would have to learn Hebrew.  It really helped me adjust to that notion when I met several Jews I really respected and they didn't know much Hebrew.  Also, I thought I might be forced into following some, if not all, kosher guidelines.  I studied a bit about it, talked to many people about it.  I still have some issues about the whole issue, because 
how can you do the Passover thing, give up bread, et al., if you're eating shrimp and bacon?  So, I still think about those things.  I'm still trying to work some things out.


I hoped I would gain a new community.  I had to find a niche in this community -- what worked for me -- and although I'm still working on that, I think that I've found it.  I am absolutely thrilled with the volunteer work I am doing for the synagogue and my community, and with the new friends I have made.

In the back of my mind were: Will I fit in with my new community, will I ever really be considered Jewish?  I hoped that was going to happen, but couldn't allow myself to dream that. 

Second Response:
I so hoped (secretly) that converting would confer chutzpah upon me...no such luck! Darn!

I did go to Unitarian church with my mom once after I converted, and truthfully, I did feel a pang that I could not really claim that space for myself anymore, and that I had given up holding space for that religion to work for me better.  On the other hand, I still say that my Jewish identity can hold all the spirituality and learning that I could ever wish for.  

Regarding bacon...as far as I understand it, the entire Reform movement rejected the dietary laws as mandatory, although I guess they are making a comeback.  Our temple historian reported that our temple used to have an annual crab feed (!!).  Best news in that department:  there does not seem to be any fridge police at my shul, nor at any others I have heard about.  Just try not to bring ham to a temple potluck, although some people do (accidentally?  or carelessly?  or accidentally-on-purpose?) bring meat+milk dishes, and many certainly eat meat and milk side-by-side.  I have found that the easiest way for me to feel good with the dietary laws is to go dairy+parve (i.e. no "meat" anymore), especially at home, although a little shrimp or scallop might show up every once in a while.  I have at times eaten many things I would not ordinarily eat when a guest at someone else's place.  I think that falls under a different mitzvah, I forget which.  The spiritual thing is, if you flub the dietary laws; or if you go full-on with the dietary laws; or if you try to be moderate about the dietary laws; then you get to look at how that sits with you -- how Jewish is that?!!

So far I have avoided a show-down about Christmas by celebrating it at Grandma's house, and keeping our house about Hannukah.  What I will do in 10? 20? 50? years when I  eventually outlive her remains an open question.  What I told my beit din was that perhaps in those not-hoped-for future  days, we would put up a small table-top christmas tree by which to remember her and her hospitality and love.  Nothing un-Jewish about that as a value, I don't think.  I mean it's not for the purpose of worshiping baby jesus or something; it is a family cultural history and event; and honoring my mother and father.

I think the main thing is:  just go around being Jewish.  I have found that at first, I felt I ought to think a lot about all the details; but now, after 15 years of living Jewish and 7 or so of formally being Jewish, I am pretty used to being Jewish, so I feel more that I could fudge a bit here and there and it won't affect my identity.

But that chutzpah thing!!  Where do I sign up for that?



2 Comments
Elizabeth
8/14/2013 06:59:54 am

I am converting to Judaism after being raised Unitarian. I would be very interested in comparing experiences with the author of the second response.

Reply
Jim G
1/25/2015 11:31:19 am

What changed was my friends perspective of me, now as a Jew. Many still think it's a phase as I've always been branded as a "searcher". But Judaism appears to be my "shtick". It's what really completes me spiritually. But compared to my past experience as a Christian, no matter if I attended Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, or interdenominational services, I was always accepted. As a "new" Jew (I've been officially a member of the tribe since June 2014), there are some folks in my soul that are stand-offish when I'm there. It's like I'm not REALLY a Jew because I wasn't BORN a Jew. And that's the toughest part of being a convert so far.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Thoughts from our Email List

    Hopefully our blog entries will concern issues that matter to YOU, the curious about Judaism.  Please let us know what you'd like to read about!

    Categories

    All
    After Conversion
    Anti Semitism
    Beit Din
    Blessings
    Child Conversion
    Christmas
    Circumcision
    Classes
    Connecting
    Conservative Judaism
    Conversion Process
    Dating/relationships
    Death/Shiva
    Find A Rabbi
    God
    Hanukkah
    Hatafat Dam Brit
    Hebrew Name
    Hell
    History
    Holidays & Fast Days
    Interfaith
    Israel
    Jewish Places
    Kashrut
    LGBT
    Mikvah
    Mitvot/Commandments
    Mourning
    Movements
    Non Jewish Family
    Non-Jewish Family
    Orthodox Judaism
    Parenting
    Passover
    Personal Stories
    Questions From Readers
    Reform Judaism
    Social Justice
    Spirituality
    Synagogues
    Torah
    Transgender
    Why Be Jewish?
    Yahrzeit

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    March 2025
    November 2024
    January 2024
    October 2023
    August 2023
    March 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    August 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    August 2011
    May 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010

BecomingJewish.net is a great resource for anyone who is thinking about converting to Judaism or has recently become Jewish.