BECOMING JEWISH - Blog: Into the Jewish Pool

March 31st, 2023

3/31/2023

Let's address what is going on in that very land to which Moses took us: Israel.
Throughout the USA, Jews have been angered, distressed and horrified by the actions of the new rightwing government. One after another synagogues have been gathering members to discuss the situation and what American Jews can do to retain Israel’s democracy. I listened to an excellent teaching by Fred Rosenbaum (offered through Under One Tent out of the Contra Costa JCC). I feel better informed. I have worried that Israel will take after America and the MAGA movement. I feel clearer about what I personally can do. Have a look yourself if you like. Here’s the link.

Our local Bay Area Jewish newspaper, the J-Weekly has covered a number of stories about the protests of American Jews and Israelis against the right wing government in Israel.
I enjoyed this speech by an American rabbi, Rabbi Sharon Brous of Ikar on a trip to Israel, stating that we American Jews stand with our Israeli brothers and sisters in their struggle to hold onto their democracy.
Having lived through four years of Trump and MAGA I am praying for both Israel and America. I believe in Democracy – with all the checks and balances.

Israel is the homeland of the Jews - all Jews. Just like family, we may be angry or upset with our loved ones, but they are still our family.

Our Non-Jewish Names

1/26/2023

I previously shared an article by a Jew by Choice whose given name is Chris. I asked if folks had notably NON-Jewish names and whether that hampered them in Jewish environments. Here are some replies.

My name means a lot to me. My mom chose it for me. I love the Jewish name I chose too but my English name is so much a part of me. To my mom, I am and always will be the name she gave me.

A new doctor I saw recently noticed my Jewish star necklace and asked me if I were Jewish. We chatted about it for a bit. I told him I was a Jew by Choice. He asked me questions. I don't mind answering them. It seems to come naturally to me. He seemed to have a lot of respect for my choice.

New neighbors moved in across the hall and the woman asked me if I were Jewish and referenced my mezuzah. I said yes and she said so are we!!! Yaaay! She said she would like to do Shabbat some time. How wonderful!
Shira

**

Try looking my name up in Hebrew! I’ll just say that it’s a “bad word.” Fortunately I don't know that many Jews who are sufficiently conversant in the language. I chose Yona (dove) for my Hebrew name.
Yona

**

My surname is Ireland. It is an Irish name; both Catholics and Protestants have it.

I understand how hard it is to be part of a community often enough under siege. It is hard to extend a welcome to strangers, and so as I have said, problems can happen involving trust.

The Jewish community is not the only one leery of outsiders. The Irish community is as well, though some may not realize it. It is due to its history, even extending to folk memories of events happening in 1658, when Cromwell invaded Ireland. During the next year, about a third of the Irish starved to death, were murdered, or sold into slavery in the Caribbean. I have those memories, because my mother comes from an Irish Catholic background.

I feel compassion for those threatened in the presence of an outsider, but also hurt due to experiences years back with Jewish peers, and also with Irish American political groups.

The name for this kind of distrust is PTSD.

It is a rare event to meet someone who understands how to say, stand down soldier, at ease, I will never hurt you.

That's a gift. Sure, someone like that might seem to be bending over backwards to extend an undeserved olive branch to someone who has done grievous harm. For example the Irish Protestant actor Stephen Rea, married a woman who was once a member of the IRA, and was arrested for a failed bombing attempt. Fortunately, she and her sister were apprehended.

Pretty bad decision on Stephen Rea's part or, maybe to understand much is to forgive much, even when it does not look possible.

There is someone on the other side of your fear of strangers, however justified and they may not be out to get you. We all need to give that some thought.
Ruth Ora

**

My full Hebrew name is Sarah Hineni bat Avram Aveinu v'Sarah Imenu. When I am called up for an aliyah, I get questions about it. I tell them this story.

My parents were working in Germany on a contract when my mom became pregnant with me. This was in the 1950s, when there were plenty of ex-Nazis around; also, if I'd been born in Germany I might have been subject to German conscription laws. So my mom came back to the States to have me, and my dad stayed on to finish out his contract. When I was born, my grandfather sent a telegram to the hotel where my dad was living. Dad went downstairs to the bar and ordered a round for the house to celebrate. All the Germans were toasting him, when the bartender asked him, "What is your daughter's name?" My father proudly replied, "Her name is Sarah." The bartender gasped in astonishment and said, "But that is ein Judisher namen!" (That is a Jewish name!) The bartender and everyone else in the room was scandalized.

I like to say that that bartender was prescient. At the time, and for many decades afterwards, I was NOT a Jew. There are no Jews anywhere in my family tree (although there are plenty of Sarahs). So when it came time for me to choose a Hebrew name, I saw no point in discarding a perfectly good one, especially one which had so irritated a bunch of ex-Nazis. So I added "Hineni", "I am here", as my second name. Therefore I am "Sarah Hineni bat Avram Aveinu v'Sarah Imenu" in the Tribe.
Sarah Hineni

**

It would be hard to get more WASPY sounding than my English name! But to be honest I have never had any questions re: my name not sounding Jewish. My conversion city of Indianapolis, IN was comprised of a large number of Interfaith and Converts. However, in FL where I now live many are native born Ashkenazi Jews from NYC. But never had any questions about my name as I mingle with others at Shul!

My Hebrew name is to honor my Father whose was name David and also, King David. Like King David I have fallen short on a great number of times. I just keep on keeping on!
David

What if your name isn't "Jewish"?

1/18/2023

(Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash)

I’m not interested in fussing at Jews for being baffled by “Christian” names like Christopher and Mary or, Muslim names like Ali and Fatima and all the other names that are associated with non-Jewish culture. I do want to deal with the self consciousness that some converts feel about their given name.

I’ve been told about the embarrassment of being called out for being a Khristin or a McDonald. First or last names can be questioned in a Jewish environment.

First, why is this so common? Jews have been restricted by non-Jewish societies from mixing with the larger population for thousands of years. Jewish communities were constantly in danger of being assaulted. Living with that kind of fear has led to Jews developing alertness to potential danger from ‘the other’. Thus any indicator – including a name – could warn Jews to be on the defensive. At times this led to Jews from different communities to even suspect each other.

When someone named John Christianson sits in a synagogue, Jews around him may wonder whether he could be checking them out for an attack. As recently as January 15, 2022 a strange man entered the synagogue at Colleyville, TX and held congregants hostage. My point here is, cut congregants some slack; they are coming from a place of anxiety. Unfortunately things are not getting any better so building fear is going to fuel the suspicions. Note this article about the current state of antisemitism in the USA.

It isn’t just converts to Judaism that are questioned. My friend, Dan McClosky discussed his last name and its role in his life at his adult bar mitzvah. If you are on Facebook you can hear his comments here,
Jump to 1:35 for Dan’s speech.

My point? Don’t think you are alone. This is a COMMON unpleasant occurrence in Jewish life.

A couple Jewish Chrises
I recently read an article by a Jew by choice discussing his name, Chris, here.

Not being much of an ESPN watcher I didn’t know who Chris Berman was until he was inducted into the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame.

What can you do about having a non-Jewish name?
Let’s face it, you can change it! If you’d prefer to use your Hebrew name, a name you got to pick for yourself, you can. I’ve even accompanied a friend to his court hearing where he legally changed his name.
I have another friend whose name was Egyptian. He chose to simply switch to going by his Hebrew name. He certainly “looked” Semitic, since he is, and decided to blend in.

However, you may love your given name. It may have been chosen by someone you love. Or you may be named after a relative to whom you are close. In this case you need to decide how you want to respond to that probing question, “How can you be Jewish with that name?”

I suggest you decide beforehand how you want to handle these inappropriate questions. Don’t be caught by surprise.

You can be quite direct, “Wow, you don’t even know me and you’re working to offend me!”
You can turn the tables, “Where did you get YOUR name?”
You can sidestep, “What makes you ask that? Are you concerned about my identity?”
You can just roll your eyes and walk away.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

On the other hand, some people do love to tell their conversion story. They want to enlighten the asker and broaden the person’s understanding of who is a Jew. If you are one of these people, enjoy! But please add that not everyone is as happy to answer as you are and that politeness requires that the questioner refrain from asking this of others.

Now, tell me where YOU stand?
Do you like to tell your story?
Do you feel affronted by these types of questions?
How have you handled different sorts of questioners?

A few fun things for Hanukkah

12/21/2022

Are you tired of the song, I Make a Little Dreidel? I am! My current favorite Hanukkah song is Ochos Kandelikas. This version is sung by Pink Martini and I received the link from Jewtina, an organization that supports Jews of Hispanic heritage.

December with it's cold weather in Northern America seems to beg for baking. What are you making? Some traditional favorites, with recipes are these:

Latkes? My favorite recipe here.
Sufganiyot? A good recipe here.
Bimuelos? My recipe here.

Wishing you warmth and light in the cold and dark!

Acceptance (or not) of converts by Orthodox rabbis

6/15/2022

I read the following communication on a Chabad website where people were asking questions about conversion.

QUESTION: "I know that ultra-Orthodox Jews do not think of converts as fully Jewish, although I did go to mikvah as well as do all the other things for my conversion."

ANSWER: Where could you have possibly gotten this idea from??? I'm shocked to hear someone is saying such things. If you had a conversion according to Jewish law, then everyone accepts that you are 100% Jewish. If your conversion was not according to halacha, then every possible type of Orthodox Jew doesn't believe that you are even partially Jewish.

The problem in your case may be that if you didn't have a rabbi that believes in the absolute binding nature of Torah law upon every Jew, then he cannot bind you to the Torah either. That is part of Jewish law, and at least as important as mikvah.

What I found particularly interesting is the last paragraph, stating that if the rabbi who converts you does not believe “in the absolute binding nature of Torah law upon every Jew, then he cannot bind you to the Torah either. That is part of Jewish law, and at least as important as mikvah.”

This answers the question, why don’t Orthodox rabbis accept the converts from other movements. I have always told people that it isn’t about them, it’s about their rabbi. It is important that a seeker understand that when they pick a sponsoring rabbi they are also picking that rabbi’s stream of Judaism.

I am also struck by the questioner’s comment that some see him as not “fully Jewish.” That is a very non-Jewish concept. Being Jewish is one of those yes or no states of being. You can’t be sort of Jewish. That said, many people entertain the idea of being partially Jewish.

What are your thoughts? Did you pick your sponsoring rabbi with the knowledge that you were picking their branch of Judaism?
Do you think of some people as partly Jewish?
Do you ever think of yourself as partly Jewish?
What do you think of the idea that Torah law is absolutely binding on every Jew – whether they abide by it or not.

***
Here's a conversation that resulted from sending this out in an email to all my Jews by Choice.

Bina:
This is quite an unusual, but interesting question.

That reminded me of this one incidence some years ago. I was speaking with two brothers who were curious about the path I had to take and which movement I did my conversion under. I told them my Rabbi is from the Conservative movement as was my beit din, but my rabbi had gotten the agreement of a modern Orthodox Rabbi that we could use the mikvah at the Orthodox synagogue for the final conversion ritual.

This sparked a debate between the two brothers about whether I am Orthodox or not Orthodox. As you know, some people would only accept Orthodox conversion as a "true" conversion. One brother's view was that I didn't go through the Orthodox agency in Los Angeles or East Coast, so I don't have the "real" certificate to certify I am a "true" Jew. The other brother felt that I was "dunked" in the Orthodox mikvah, so I am Orthodox regardless of the paper certificate. I agree that was a very strange debate & discussion, but I didn't feel offended because I consider myself Jewish because I entered the covalent bond on my own will, regardless of the branch of Judaism.

Dawn:
You bring up an additionally and VERY INTERESTING point - does the location of the mikvah matter? One of the issues that Rabbi Dardik encountered as the rabbi of the Orthodox synagogue in Oakland, Beth Jacob, that has a mikvah used by the community is that many people assumed that being brought to an orthodox mikvah meant that they had had an orthodox conversion. Not so. Your status as a Jew is determined by the rabbi who takes you to mikvah. So you were taken by a Conservative rabbi and are therefore, Conservative. But here you tell me that it's not just the convert who is confused, so are the Jews!

I LOVE that you say you are not offended because you believe yourself to be Jewish. I will add that it matters what others think, and your entire community (and your rabbi) say you are a Jew. I guess you could say that swimming laps in an Olympic pool doesn't make you an Olympian. It's not about the water.

Bina:
Yeah, I really think that as long as I regard myself as Jewish, and so is my community and rabbi, that is all that matters. I agree there is no such thing as "partially Jewish".

If I convert, will I be accepted as Jewish?

5/9/2022

(This article was first published in my Mixed and Matched column for the J-weekly on August 29, 2014 titled:
If I Convert Will I Be Accepted as Jewish?)

Dear Dawn,
My fiancé is Jewish and I was raised basically Christian but not going to church. I really like his family traditions and am attracted to Judaism. I am thinking of converting, but a Jewish co-worker told me that I can never really be Jewish. If I go forward with my plan to convert, will I be accepted as Jewish in America? What about in Israel? — Feeling Jewish Inside

Dear Feeling Jewish: People have been converting to Judaism since time immemorial; some are quite famous, like Ruth, who has her own book in the Jewish Bible and from whose lineage it is said the Messiah will come.
My guess is that your co-worker is not part of a synagogue or a Jewish study program. In a formal Jewish setting, he would have learned that being Jewish is not only a matter of lineage. Conversion is the “other” way people become Jewish.
Not a lot of people convert to Judaism, so most Jews don’t know much about converts. There are two general stereotypes about converts. One, they are super Jews — more knowledgeable and more observant than born Jews. Two, they are fair-weather Jews; at any moment they will lapse back to their non-Jewish identity. Neither of these is fair or accurate, but stereotypes rarely are.
In modern days we have several different branches of Judaism. For Jews-by-choice, their identity as Jews is determined by that of the rabbi who converts them. So if you work with a Reform rabbi, you will have a Reform conversion and Jews who believe your rabbi is authentic will accept you as Jewish.
Reform Jews accept as validly Jewish those converts who work with ordained rabbis from major Jewish streams. Other movements have other criteria, and Orthodox rabbis accept only Orthodox conversions as truly authentic.
In general, for purposes of the law of return, or immigration, the government of Israel accepts those who have been converted outside Israel by rabbis who are on the official government list. Rabbis who wish to have their conversions accepted must get their names on the list. At this time, I understand, the Reform, Conservative, Orthodox and Reconstructionist movements all have their rabbis on the list. The Renewal movement has not done so yet.
However, the Orthodox Israeli rabbinate accepts few converts outside of their own movement. What they control in Israel is marriage and burial, so unless you’re planning to be married or buried in Israel, you needn’t be concerned.
Now, what about those who don’t accept you? Ask yourself, do you accept their views of Jewish law and practice? If yes, then convert with their movement. If not, then let it go.
Should you convert at all? If you feel Jewish inside, then yes, it is time to bring your Jewish soul home. You should be doing this for yourself, not for your marriage. I trust that your fiancé is supportive of you and will work with you as you study to become a Jew. Will people, Jews and non-Jews, question your authenticity over the years ahead? Perhaps, but this is about you, not them. You will develop your own Jewish circle and they will see you as a Jew.
One point: In order to convert, you must study with a rabbi for a period of time, typically a year. During that time the rabbi considers the door to be open. That means you are welcome to leave at any time. Should you study for a few months and then determine that you don’t want to become Jewish, there are no hard feelings. You can remain friends with the rabbi and go on as a non-Jewish member of the synagogue.
I suggest that you begin. If your fiancé or his parents are members of a Bay Area synagogue, call and make an appointment with their rabbi. Ask about that rabbi’s conversion process. Sign up for a basic Judaism class. Not only will you learn a lot, you’ll meet a number of other people who are considering or in the process of conversion. They will be helpful voices in your decision process. Be sure to take your fiancé along to the class; it will be something to share.

Ocean Mikvahs in the SF Bay Area

12/16/2021

(This article originally appeared in the December 15, 2021 Mixed and Matched column in the J-weekly.)

Dear Dawn: The final component of my conversion will be the mikvah. I want to complete this step, but our local mikvah has been closed through the pandemic. Is the mikvah mandated for conversion in Reform Judaism? (I want to do it, whether it’s required or not.) Can I do it in an ocean, with a representative on shore? I am looking forward to the ceremonial solemnity. — Patiently awaiting my mikvah

Dear Patiently: Many people have faced the same problem during the pandemic, and rabbis have opted for an outdoor mikvah! No, mikvah is not mandated for a Reform conversion, but who would want to miss out?
You stimulated my interest in learning some of our local rabbis’ approach to an outdoor mikvah. I was surprised by how many of them do utilize this option.
It is critical that you meet with your rabbi and discuss the details of how the outdoor mikvah will be handled.
Issues include: modesty (public nudity is out); safety (rough waves are dangerous); participants (you will need helpers); clothing (avoid wardrobe malfunctions in the water); ceremony (what exactly will happen and in what order?)
Generally speaking, the rabbis I communicated with look for a secluded location on a beach, away from the eyes of the public. Candidates may wear either a bathing suit or a loose-fitting garment like a robe. Rabbis may ask whether you can swim; they will refuse to put you in danger.
A loved one accompanies the convert to a spot in the surf where it is deep enough to lift your feet off the bottom and dip under the water. Your companion will help you disrobe if you are wearing a swimsuit or want to be naked. They hold your garment while the rabbi calls out to you from the shore, telling you what to say and when to dunk.
After the three dips are completed, your companion will help you dress before you exit the water. Some rabbis have a Thermos with a warm drink waiting. Several rabbis described having family members hold up towels to shield the new Jew as they take off their wet clothes and put on dry ones. Several rabbis mentioned going early in the morning or at sunset to avoid running into others.
Here are some comments I received:
Lisa Erdberg, conversion guide, Congregation Sherith Israel, San Francisco
The people strip down to bathing suits on the beach, go into the water and remove their bathing suits under water. After their immersions, they put their bathing suits back on under water and emerge. We wrapped them in towels to dry off, and then they put their clothes back on. There is a restroom very close by that they can use. They recited the Shema in the water.
My sense is that people have found the water to be very cold, but they are so excited that it doesn’t actually feel cold.
Because it’s the Pacific Ocean, it is cold with choppy water. It’s hard to hear because of the wind. They can only let go of their bathing suits for a second. Immersion in a calm ocean or lake would be a much more tranquil affair and offer more opportunity for intentionality.
Rabbi Jaymee Alpert, Congregation Beth David, Saratoga
Candidates dress in loose-fitting clothes and bring a change and plenty of towels for afterward. They go in alone, just far enough that they can pick their feet up and immerse fully. It is quite noisy with the waves, and I have to listen carefully for the blessings.
Once out of the water, they wrap up in a towel immediately. I think they are very brave. I haven’t managed to put more than a foot into the water. I had to reschedule a conversion because of riptides, so that is also something to be aware of.
Rabbi Gershon Albert, Beth Jacob Congregation, Oakland
Some Orthodox beit dins (rabbinical courts) will allow a conversion candidate to wear a loose-fitting robe or wrap themselves in a sheet when they immerse, protecting their modesty throughout the process.
Rabbi David Booth, Congregation Kol Emeth, Palo Alto
I have them wear a robe or wrap themselves in a sheet when going into the water, and then just put it back on as they emerge. It is true that there are days when the surf is up and it’s more exciting than planned.
Rabbi Jonathan Prosnit, Congregation Beth Am, Los Altos Hills
In a phone conversation, Rabbi Prosnit told me there is a protected cove area at Half Moon Bay that he uses. The candidate goes with a friend or partner, both in bathing suits, into the water. When they have waded in deep enough to disrobe under the water (about 20 yards out), the candidate takes off their bathing suit and dips. He guides them in the traditional blessings from the shore. The individual redresses in the water and comes out to a celebration with loved ones on the shore.
Rabbi Prosnit pointed out that the mikvah preparation of showering, flossing and cleaning under the nails can be very beautiful, but generally is not possible in a beach setting.
Water locations used by Bay Area rabbis include Santa Cruz beaches, the Albany Bulb (which is the end of a landfill peninsula), Half Moon Bay or nearby Mavericks Beach, Lake Anza in Berkeley, San Gregorio Beach (south of Half Moon Bay), and three San Francisco spots: the St. Francis Yacht Club, Aquatic Park near Fisherman’s Wharf and Crissy Field.
This is clearly an individualized process that you must discuss with your rabbi, but the good news is that it can be done.

An Ocean Mikvah

11/3/2021

An ocean mikvah experience in Hawaii

Can you use the ocean for your mikvah? You can! A friend of mine who LOVES the water asked about using the ocean. I contacted the conversion mentor, Lisa, at Sherith Israel because she told me that they have done ocean mikvahs. She asked one of her conversion students to write about his experience. Here's what he had to say.

When the day of my mikvah had come, it was typical San Francisco foggy weather but something was obviously different about it. I felt a bit intimidated by what's going to happen to me, yet I was calm and at peace. It felt that something very important is going to occur, spiritually significant. When I was taking off my clothes with the skies being orange because of the smoke from forest fires, I caught myself correlating this with the verses, when the world was just emerging in the Torah and that the culmination of the most important moment in my life is about to happen. I was ready to step into the cold waters of the Bay but, surprisingly, the water was beyond comfortable, as if HaShem covered me with his warm tallit to save me from cold temperatures. Rabbi Jessica and Lisa were mentally holding my hands as I went further and further into the water. All my intimidation disappeared once I looked back at them. Water became very pleasant. When Rabbi Jessica pronounced the prayers and I submerged three times - my entire life flashed in front of my eyes, even the moments that I almost forgot about! Once I came back from the water, the world became different, clearer, I even became more aware of the people and notions around me. This is something I don't think I can explain with simple words: it must be felt and the feeling is amazing. This was especially important for me because this way I spiritually bring my Jewish ancestors together and keep that connection: my long-"erased" Jewish ancestry is now restored! That's why my entire conversion at Sherith Israel was so important to me.
--Aharon

I turned back to the conversion mentor, Lisa, for more details about an ocean immersion. I asked about HOW it is done and about the temperature of the water. She said:

We did the two Bay mivkahs I attended at the beach by the St. Francis Yacht Club; I believe the other one was at Aquatic park, but more or less same environment. The people stripped down to bathing suits on the beach, went into the water and removed their bathing suits under water. After performing their immersions they put their bathing suits back on under water and came out. We wrapped them in towels to dry off and then the put their clothes back on; there is a restroom very close by that they could use if they wanted to remove their wet bathing suits before putting their clothes on. They recited the Shema in the water. They did not hold a Torah - we don’t do that at the indoor mikvah either; the recitation of the Shema is the last thing after the immersions. We all shivered and sang siman tov and mazel tov.

My sense is that people have found the water to be very cold but they are so excited that it doesn’t actually feel cold; both the people I witnessed said it felt good.

Quite honestly, because it’s the Pacific Ocean, hence cold, windy, and usually choppy water, it’s kind of a hodgepodge. It’s hard to hear because of the wind; they can only let go of their bathing suits for a brief second, etc. Immersion in a calm ocean or lake would be a much more tranquil affair and offer more opportunity for intentionality. And yet, you see from Aharon’s narrative how meaningful it was to him to do it this way.

I can't resist sharing with you Aharon's additional comments about making aliyah and living in Jerusalem.

The High Holy Days were magnificent here! I got to know a couple of families in the suburbs of Jerusalem who are affiliated with the Ramban synagogue and we had an amazing celebration. It truly feels more connected to HaShem over here, even though they're from the Orthodox denomination. I know different parts of Israel are quite different in a religious sense like Jerusalem can go too extreme in terms of observance but nobody really cares about Judaism in Eilat. I love Jerusalem! I truly found my spiritual destination here and will stay here. Probably, I'll have to undergo Orthodox conversion (more symbolic, than actual) here as Rabbi Avigdor Nebenzahl will require it to become a full-fledged member. I'm shocked about the number of young Americans in there who study the Torah with such dedication. The English version of the Torah comes in handy as I'm still learning Biblical Hebrew. Russian too, to be honest, but, I believe, submerging myself into the language environment - that's the only good way of actually learning the language. Yes, it's very challenging, but having such a big team with me is very important, a day here flies by very fast when I'm at the Torah discussion. I'm absolutely grateful to HaShem that I ended up here, in the Holy Land.

You can read more here on My Jewish Learning, but I found this article to be rather discouraging.

Your Spiritual Workout

10/20/2021

Rabbi Larry Milder of Beth Emek in Pleasanton wrote joyfully to his congregation:

Your Spiritual Workout Routine
The heart needs to be moved—not just physically, but spiritually, too.
Shabbat morning is when we really get to stretch our spiritual side.
Mind you, I love Friday night worship. It is like the calming breath for the soul.
Shabbat morning is when our heart takes flight. The apex of Shabbat morning is the reading of the Torah. Not only is that when the action of the service really picks up; it’s also when we are most fully engaged.
Now that we are back in our sanctuary, we are ready for some serious Torah encounters.

YES! We are all getting closer to returning to our synagogues in person. I can't wait. I miss everything about being with the community.

Rabbi Milder's words reminded me of something that Rabbi Daniel Stein of B'nai Shalom in Walnut Creek said. He taught that we must pray in order to practice praying. He said, "It's like baseball. You won't hit the ball every time you are at bat, but you have to practice so that sometimes you'll hit a homerun."

I wish us all a homerun at shul soon!

I lost my conversion certificate. Now what?

9/29/2021

This correspondence was first published in my Mixed and Matched column for the J-weekly.

Dear Dawn: Many years ago, under the guidance of a Conservative rabbi in Queens, New York, I converted to Judaism. My records have been lost and no one connected with the synagogue has been able to help me in recovering the document of my conversion. What am I to do in this situation? I am more than willing to undergo the process again, but I don’t know if a rabbi would consider this appropriate. I am also currently living in a remote location; no Jewish community here. — Jewish for a long time

Dear JFALT: You’ve presented me with an interesting question I’ve never confronted before — so I did some research.
Here’s what I found. No matter which movement an individual chooses for their conversion, it is best for that person to hold onto their conversion certificate! If you are a Jew by choice, make a copy, upload it to the cloud, save it to your computer, put a copy or the original in your safe deposit box.
The responsibility is primarily on you, the individual.
That said, here’s how the three largest Jewish movements handle conversion records.
The Reform movement encourages its rabbis to send a copy of each of their converts’ certificates to the central archive in the American Jewish Archives in Cincinnati. Many of the Reform rabbis remember to do this, but not all of them. If you convert with a Reform rabbi, you should confirm that they do that for you.
The Conservative movement encourages its rabbis to send a copy of the certificate to the Rabbinical Assembly in New York. One Conservative rabbi I spoke with had never been told this information! The moral of the story: Speak up, ask for your records to be sent, and keep a copy for yourself.
The Orthodox movement has a few approved beit din (rabbinic courts) around the United States. This means that people seeking to convert must travel to the location of the beit din for an interview and, of course, mikvah. Each beit din retains its own records. Thus, converts who have worked with one of these courts must contact their court for a duplicate certificate.
Your inquiry, JFALT, led me to wonder: When have you actually needed to produce your certificate? I asked you, and you replied that while you have never had to show it, the certificate itself has great meaning for you.
In fact, it’s so important to you that you’ve decided if you can’t get your certificate via the Rabbinical Assembly, you have found a rabbi who will take you to the mikvah again and give you a new certificate.
I take my hat off to your commitment and sentiment! Still, I hope the Rabbinical Assembly can help you.
All of this left me with a question: When do Jews-by-choice get asked to prove their status? I asked rabbis from the same three movements.
The Reform and Conservative rabbis I spoke with said they’ve never asked someone to provide their certificate. They’ve never had occasion to question someone’s self-proclaimed identity as a Jew or as a Jew-by-choice, they said. (One Reform rabbi did get a call from a synagogue once asking if he had indeed converted a person who was applying to teach in their Hebrew school.)
It is different for the Orthodox community and rabbis. Halachah (Jewish law) is as binding for their community as American law is for U.S. citizens. Proof of Jewish status is required for people who want to be members of an Orthodox shul, put their children in an Orthodox day school, go to a summer camp or be married by the rabbi.
As a Reform rabbi said to me, “For traditional Jews, this is simply law, not personal.”
Obviously, if you have chosen to convert to Judaism via Orthodoxy, you learn this and take it on as your way of life.
Ironically, I note that rabbis either don’t ask about status or, if they are required to, they ask everyone, not just those who may have converted.
Let this be guidance to all members of a congregation: We lay people do not need to question another person’s status.